When Chaos Comes Before Calling Episode

Some weeks leave you emotionally exhausted.

In this honest conversation, Shannon and Deb pull back the curtain on what life has really looked like lately—family struggles, work stress, leadership pressures, unanswered questions, and the spiritual weight that seems to come whenever you're stepping into something God has called you to do.

Together they talk about how easy it is to mistake people for the enemy when Scripture reminds us our battle is never against flesh and blood. They discuss bitterness, healthy boundaries, giving grace, protecting your peace, and learning when to "let it be" while still trusting God to handle what you cannot.

If you've been asking, "God, what did I do wrong?" this episode is a reminder that sometimes you're not being punished—you may simply be standing in the middle of a spiritual battle. The enemy wants distraction, division, and discouragement. Jesus offers peace, wisdom, and strength to keep moving forward.

No polished answers. No pretending. Just two women choosing truth, grace, and Jesus in the middle of real life.

Bible Verses

• Ephesians 6:12 — "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood..."
• Ephesians 4:31-32 — Put away bitterness, wrath, anger, and forgive as Christ forgave you. 
• John 10:10 — "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life..."
• James 1:19-20 — Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. 
• Isaiah 26:3 — God keeps in perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on Him.

 Encouragement 

Maybe you're listening today and your life feels a little like ours did this week.

Relationships feel strained.
Work feels overwhelming.
Your emotions are heavier than usual.
You're questioning whether you're doing the right thing.

Can I encourage you?

Don't let the enemy convince you that the people around you are the real enemy.

Sometimes the greatest victory isn't winning the argument—it's refusing to lose your peace.

Sometimes strength looks like taking a step back instead of taking revenge.
Sometimes maturity looks like praying before reacting.
Sometimes obedience looks like choosing grace when your flesh wants to choose bitterness.

If God has called you to something, don't be surprised when opposition comes. Opposition doesn't always mean you're going the wrong direction. Many times it confirms you're walking toward something the enemy doesn't want you to reach.

Keep praying.
Keep forgiving.
Keep setting healthy boundaries.
Keep trusting God's timing.

The battle may be real, but so is the One who has already won it.

 Closing Prayer 

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for walking with us through every difficult season. Thank You that even when life feels chaotic, You remain faithful and unchanging.

Lord, help us remember that our battle is not against flesh and blood. Give us eyes to recognize the spiritual battle without turning against the people You have placed in our lives.

Search our hearts today. If there is bitterness, unforgiveness, pride, fear, or anger taking root, gently remove it. Replace it with Your peace, Your wisdom, and Your grace.

Teach us when to speak and when to be still. Give us discernment to know the difference between healthy boundaries and hardened hearts. Help us extend the same grace that You have so freely given us.

Strengthen every listener who feels overwhelmed by work, family, ministry, or life. Remind them that they are not fighting alone. You are with them in every battle, and You have already secured the victory through Jesus Christ.

May we leave this week choosing faith over fear, peace over panic, and love over offense.

In Jesus' mighty name,

Amen.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Lord, we love you today. We thank you for this opportunity to be here. And Lord, we just pray that you just speak through us and that every listener listening would receive what you would happen to receive. In Jesus' name. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Amen. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace Conversation. I'm Shannon. I'm Deb. And today is just another day. It's been it's been a week. It's been a couple weeks. It's just been life's been laughing. Um, things have been going on. Uh life hasn't been where it's supposed to be some days, and some days it has, and here we are. It's been a rough week.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

It's been a rough weeks. Rough couple weeks. Yeah. I feel like too, I was thinking about this this morning. And we talked about this maybe the last podcast. When you have an assignment, and the Lord, you know, we have the women's conference coming up. Right. The enemy is gonna fight you first through your family. Yep. Through your family. Me and my little boy had it out. My bad went to jail. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Not really. She's not kidding.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

And then um, I feel like, you know, me and Kevin have been on the best terms. So it's been so you have to recognize that it's not them we're fighting, it's a spiritual battle, but sometimes you let your flesh take over and you want to fight it in your own strength, then you end up um in a in a place that you don't necessarily want to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

That's funny. So I was strolling through TikTok this morning, and there's a preacher on there that I I like to listen to. He's uh he's helped me come up with a lot of the podcasts that we did, and he said, he said, the worst thing is as Christians that we do is we automatically when things start going left, we start saying, God, what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? What did what did I do to upset you? What did I do to make you mad at me? Why is this happening? Why is this happening? And it's never God or Jesus that's trying to get us, it's always the enemy. Yeah. Because you know, it says that he will he will come to kill, steal, and destroy. And and we forget that it's him. So he, the devil, the little g is what the pastor called him, which I thought I never heard that. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

I kind of like that. Yeah. The little g. Always use capital. G when I'm talking about God. Even when I'm right on Facebook. Yeah. The capital, the big G. Yeah. The big G because the little G could mean all kinds of different things.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Yeah. So he said the little G, V God, is the big G. The little G uh has power over the earth, right? He has power over the earth and over destruction and over the things that we are out to get us, I guess, kind of thing. And then Big G, you know, he he is already here. He's already came. He's already saved us. He's already put us to where we're supposed to be. But the little G, and he does it, and we've talked about this, he doesn't come at you directly, right? He doesn't come at you and directly, he whispers to you through your family, through chaos, through deter you know, determination and things like that. And it makes it makes it complicated to notice the difference.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

I think through that, I was I had watched a sermon Stephen Furtick was doing one day on a fences. And he literally used a fence. Right. So talking about husband and wife, you know, this happens. You put a fence, one of those little uh what do you call that? Uh piece like a piece of wood. If you would build a fence. And then something else happens, and you build another one. And then another. And then before long, all these offenses has been going on in your marriage work whatever marriage. And then you have this wall. And then you're on one side and they're on the other, and you're like, wait, how did I hear? It didn't happen overnight. No, it's where you let the little things build up and build up and build up. And then and I'm not the best at communicating because I'm like, I'll just shut down and let it be. And then when something major happens and I'm like, well, all these little things is added up, and I'm ready to just be like, I don't have it. Right. You know what I mean? And so we really shouldn't let it get to that. But we're human, you know what I mean? Sometimes we do. And so I had to think about that. Is this worth this little offense worth building these big ones? Because sometimes I can be stabbing and be like, it wouldn't even be my fault. I feel like sometimes, and then sometimes it is. But when and then when you're dealing with somebody that can't see their issues in it at the time too, that it it it's frustrating.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

It can be very frustrating. That's kind of funny too. So um what did you say? Uh just let it be. Just let it be. Just let it be. Yeah. So that that's a new uh a new term I heard today. We have company, it's okay. Uh, but I have a new uh I heard a new term the other day, and it was called let it be attitude. And as humans, we either obsess over it, we worry about it, or we let it be. So do so what kind of attitude do you want to have today? And it's letting it be attitude. The godly attitude.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Yeah, I I mean I tell my daughter. Y'all should see the look on her face. Because I it's been a rough week, and so Mabel's she's been she's seen a lot of it. My daughter's here with us today. So um I I tell my other daughter this morning, I was like, I've never really got to the point where I'm just like, we'll flip the switch, you know what I mean, and turn the switch off. Because I I feel like I've always been the one to try to make to fix the things. And so, and but where you when you let all these little fences build up without um fixing them or addressing them in a healthy way, uh next thing you know, you done turn the light off and be like, no what?

SPEAKER_01 6:17

I know, but the let it be attitude, the let it be attitude. You know, you talk about turning off the light, it's not really turning off the light, but at some point, you either have to deal with the offenses, right? Or you have to be like, okay, this isn't worth it. So I'm gonna take that fence post off, right? I'm just gonna let it be. It's not worth it. Because is it worth your peace to to hold on to that to that fence post?

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Well, yeah. And some of it is stuff that I shouldn't let be. You know what I mean? And so I had to def how you said the friendship. Differentiate? Yeah, that word. I can't even say that or spell it. Me letting it be or letting God fix it or or what are we gonna do here? Right. You know what I mean? Because this is not right.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

But when when it interrupts our joy, when it interrupts our personal joy and our joy with ge with God, I think that's when we should have the let it be attitude.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Well, I have let it be. I'm like, yeah. You know what I mean? Let it be. Let it be. I feel like I've been good these last three days. Um She hadn't murdered nobody. That's why she thinks she's murdered nobody.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

That's why she thinks she's been good this last three days.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

I've gonna just stay to myself and consumed myself in work. But I really I don't even think I prayed about it. I'm just gonna be honest with you. Because sometimes you feel like, well, you when things happen, you're like, well, I've already prayed about this before. And this is happening again, so I ain't praying about it no more. Lord, you already know. Yep. But what does he want from us? Well, I know we talked about this last week. But I know, I feel like I ain't had the mental capacity to for real. I'm like, I'll tell you when we hang up from this what's really going on. I'm not gonna tell the world today.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I'm gonna tell y'all next week. She got her arms crossed over here. She's like swinging in my chair, swinging in her chair, like she's all up in it. She's wanting to let it go, she just ain't. She's wanting to let it go, but she just ain't.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

But it's okay. But the other person has apologized, but I don't feel like I was genuine, so I'm just still over here. She's holding really, I feel like I'm holding some healthy boundaries, which I haven't done in the past. Okay. And kind of like compromise when I really shouldn't, you know what I mean? Just to keep the peace. You're on. But I'm at a point, you know what? This is I'm gonna hold I'm gonna hold to a healthy boundary because I'm sometimes I can be push over, you know what I mean? Right. And then just to keep the peace, but I'm not keeping the peace now. It's like she says she's not keeping the peace this week. Hey. And you know what? But I have kept the peace, but I haven't kept the peace, so to speak. You know what I mean? Because I haven't resolved the issue. The issue's not technically resolved.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Okay, okay. But you can't hold on to it until it becomes bitterness. Oh, I can pass that.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

It's bitter. I'll tell you right now. I'm just being honest. Oh, now now I feel like we need to pray for you. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

We need to pray over you. What does it say about bitterness in the Bible?

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Well, I know I know what it says. That's why I d said this morning that I don't want to be like that. So for me to take a step back to let other people reevaluate their self. You know what I mean? Just cause I'm not I don't want to be I don't want to be bitter or because when you I don't want to be act out of character. I feel like I've been good. I haven't cussed nobody out, I haven't uh throwed hands with nobody. You know what I mean? I ain't called them out their name.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Go ahead, look it up. I did. It says put it away. Ephesians 4 31 states, let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Mm-hmm. She said, mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right. Because they've been doing all those things.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

She said they've been doing all those things. So scripture doesn't just ask us to manage bitterness, it commands believers to remove it entirely by reply relying on the grace of Christ. Say that again. Scripture does not just ask us to manage bitterness, it commands believers to remove it entirely by relying on the grace of Christ. Grace is hard. And to give grace, even though we have received it more than we deserve, is rough.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Okay, we're gonna move on that because she's not ready to talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Not yet. So we're gonna go our talk next week about it.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

We'll see. Let's see what happens. When she sees what happened, we're gonna pray over all week this week, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah, I need it.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna pray over it.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

What did you put on the um Facebook yesterday?

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Yeah. Did you see what I commented? I did, I did. I didn't even know what was going on. So yeah, uh, I was riding to work yesterday morning and the sun was just rising up and the sky was this beautiful like pink and blue color, you know, and I was um, well, let's just transparency here. Uh I uh I'd been up since like three o'clock in the morning. I was stressing out about things going on at work and just things in my head wouldn't shut up, and then you know, and then I scroll on Facebook and I look, and you know, the you know, there've only been like 14 or 15 people interested in the women's conference, and and nobody has actually paid to come to the conference, and which is two months, it's a month and something, you know, a month and a half. They're always last minute. It's a month and a half away, and I know I know that work that wants to come to. But I'm impatient. I'm impatient, yeah. Right. And so I've just been, you know, I'm like, okay, God, you know, questioning. I mean, I was questioning life yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Period. Just work, life, spiritual life. I was just questioning life. Uh yesterday. I couldn't. See, I ain't the only one. No, you ain't the only one. See, I couldn't, but I don't, I don't have no bitterness. But I was just questioning, you know, is this the right thing? Should we postpone it? Should we wait? Is it too early? Is it are we trying to rush it? You know, those kind of things. And then with work going on, I've been in another store all week. And then all of a sudden they pull us back to our stores because they realized it's the fourth of July weekend and they shouldn't have five store managers out of their stores, you know, and so I'm already three days behind in my store, you know, and I was just, and then I'm driving down the interstate and the sun starts to rise and the sky just lights up in this beautiful pink and blue color. And I was like, oh, Jesus is sitting next to me. Like, why am I stressing? Yeah. Like, why am I why am I in my head, right? And it's not anything that anybody has said or done, or it was just me and my head, right? I was just in my head and in my in my feelings. So um, I cried all the way to work yesterday morning. Don't know, Rob. Don't have no idea. Menopause induced. Yeah, menopausal induced. Uh, the other day, me and my husband was uh laying in the bed and we were just snuggling and tears just started streaming on my face, and he's like, What's wrong? And I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, and he goes, What do you mean you don't know? And I was like, it just started happening. Yeah, like there was no emotion, there was no nothing. It just and I couldn't stop it. And you know, usually I can I can cry on cue, like I'm pretty good at it, right? And it just I was like, I don't understand like what is happening here, like and that's it's happened like three times this week.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

I was reading something this morning about when you cry that it's um that you shouldn't try to hold it bottle up because that's like really it releases something.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Well, apparently I needed it, like I've needed it a couple times this week, and which is you know, but nobody hurt my feelings, nobody upset me, nobody done anything, like it literally was just like but yesterday morning when I was going to work and I posted that on Facebook when the tears started streaming, it was like a relief. I could feel it, like I could feel like it just yeah, like those the weight was coming off my shoulders. So, but yeah, so then I posted on Facebook that you know, even though in the midst of the chaos, that he's always standing there next to you. That's how we got to that point. Yes, and I say I knew that. Yeah, that's how and that's I find that funny that we're both in our own c in our own way, in our own chaos. We know why.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Yeah, we're feeling both people doing what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Yeah, when you when you follow, when you follow the commands, when you you know, it comes the overwhelming joy and the overwhelming excitement, and then the peace and then the chaos, right? That's how you know you're doing the right thing when you follow those three steps into where you're headed. So that's definitely, yeah, been there. It's been a which it hadn't been a really bad week for me personally. My son's coming home uh I love that for you for a couple weeks. Um he's been he's been dealing with He's gonna be here a couple weeks? Yeah. Oh good, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gonna be here a couple weeks. Um he's taken some time off from work. They've uh changed his medicine, and we want to make sure he alkylates to this before he has to deal with public people, you know, because people can be people and oh yeah. Definitely people can be people, and and sometimes you just don't want them to people.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

She's four, she's starting school this year. Her mama said, Why? She said, Because people bother me. People bother you.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Like people bother me. I understand. She should hang out with me. Yeah, I feel the same way. Same. I feel the same way sometimes, you know, especially when you're in a leadership position.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

That's stressful to me. It's so stressful. People don't understand if you're not, if you've not, they're like, oh, you just go to work and somebody's like, you just go to work and you talk to people. You have no idea. That's hilarious that you think that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Right, because you carry the weight of their whole lives. Yeah, it's hilarious that you think that. Because they tell you everything that's going on.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

I have 90, not like you. You have two over almost 300. Yeah. So bless you. Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Yeah. If uh sometimes, you know, and then like I called the girl the wrong name the other day and I felt so bad. And then I think, like, there's only one of them At least you know their names. Yeah, well. But there's only one of me. There's like 276 of them. Yeah, exactly. Like you know, and some of them get offended if you don't call 'em by the right name. I'm like, too. Patience, please. I have to go down the line and be like, hey, who's this person? She she's a real G G. She just calls them everybody's name. Yeah. Just fire them off. Eventually she gets to the right name. But anyway, it's gonna be better. Next week's gonna be a better week. It is, because we're getting closer. We're getting closer to what God wants us to do. And we'll get through this baby shower, get through the next baby shower, and then be full focus on the conference. Um, I feel like we'll be headed where we're supposed to.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

So Yeah, it's gonna be good. That's why I was gonna that's why you know that it's gonna be good. That's why we're being fought so hard. Yeah, yeah. For sure. For sure. Because the enemy would like nothing more than destroy what he can. You know what I mean? I realize that.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

So she's gonna take a deep breath and not kill nobody this week.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

And we'll be good. And I'm off for four days, so well that's good. And we're back on regular hours for the next two weeks. Oh, that's good too. So we really only gotta work three days next week. Ah, good. So I might be nicer.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

She said I might be nicer.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Sometimes adulting just sucks. I know. I was made with that. I'm like, am I hard to get along with? Yeah, I mean you live with me, you know. Am I hard to get along with? I know. I'm like, okay, just checking. Just making sure I didn't feel like I was, but I'm just making sure. Like, sometimes though, it's not you.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

It's what's going on around you.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Yeah, it's the enemy. For sure. So sometimes it's hard to see that. You would be like, cause you want to laugh at the person. You know what I mean? Yeah. You all you can see is it's the person doing the thing, but it's really hard to cross over and realize it's not them, it's the enemy using them. Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

So well, and it's hard, it's hard for us to like that pastor said this morning, it's hard for us to uh differentiate the difference between the enemy and something we've caused ourselves. Right? Sometimes so it's just one of those.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

But I'll update y'all next week.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

I don't know how to get an update and pray maybe share the full story. If that's what it's meant to be, that's what it'll be. We're gonna end it with this Ephesians 6 12. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over the present darkness, against the spiritual force of evil in the heavenly places. Pick us out in prayer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

We love you. We thank you for this time, Lord. We thank you for the transparency. We just ask that if there's anyone listening here, Lord, that um is struggling this week uh with the things we've been struggling with, Lord, that you would just give us strength to make good decisions and be wise and uh be more like you in Jesus' name. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with another. Um if you have any questions or join us on our Facebook page or email us at unrelated sisterspodcast at gmail.com. Uh, we'll see y'all next week.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Love y'all. Love y'all.