Unrelated Sisters: Truth & Grace Conversations's Podcast

"More than Enough: Breaking Free from Comparison & Insecurity"

• Unrelated Sisters: Truth & Grace Conversations • Season 1 • Episode 10

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Ladies we want to prayer for you. Please take time to share your story or just ask for prayer. We would love to be unrelated sister to you!

Why do we compare ourselves to the world? Why do we feel like we'll never be pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough? In this powerful, grace-soaked episode, we're pulling back all the curtain on comparison and insecurity. From Instagram filters to highlight reels, to many of us-especially our daughters, sons and little sisters and brothers-are drowning in lies about who they are.

Today, we're confronting those lies with God's truth. 

Tips for woman of Faith:

: Speak life over young people- Daily

: Call out gifts and purpose, not just appearance.

: Be transparent about our own struggles

: Lead them to Gods word, not just compliments

Bible verse:

Proverbs 31:25

Speak affirmation:

" I am chosen, known, and loved by God. I am enough

Music:

The Truth; Megan Woods

Desperate; Jamie MacDonald

Flowers; Samantha Ebert

Prayer:

Thank you Jesus, for knowing my name. Thank you Jesus, for loving me where I am. Thank you Jesus, for I am enough. Thank you Jesus, for choosing me. Thank you Jesus, for loving me and giving me one more day to love you. Be thankful when you pray.


We want this to be truly interactive podcast. Please go in the fan mail at
https://unrelatedsisterspodcast.buzzsprout.com and tell us your stories and let us know if it’s okay to share (no names). Let us know if you need prayer or how we can support you in your journey. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. Follow us on Facebook @Unrelated Sister's: Truth & Grace Conversation Podcast or Email us at unrelatedsisterspodcast@gmail.com

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey family, welcome back to Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace Conversation. I'm your host Shannon and I'm here with my ride or die sister in cross, Deb. Hey y'all, today we're diving into something that's been messing with women and men or girls and boys for way too long. Comparison and not feeling good enough. This is for anyone who's ever looked in the mirror and said, why can't I look like them? Or scroll through Instagram thinking, I'll never have a life like that. Sis, it's time to call those lies out and replace them with God's truth. How do we build a strong foundation for the future generations? Why do we compare ourselves to what we see in the world? And why do we feel like we are never be pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough?

SPEAKER_00:

Comparison's real.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh,

SPEAKER_00:

it is. That's probably one of the biggest things. And we say, oh, we love ourselves just the way we are. But do we? Like, listen, I'm trying to grow my hair out. And so it's a whole mess. And so I'm like, I want my hair long. You know what I mean? Like, I want long hair. But it's so hard. And so, like, I see other people's hair. And their hair is so pretty. And they can pull it back and it looks cute. And I feel like I pull my hair back and I look like a boy. You know what I mean? But listen, I'm trying to be comfortable with it. And this morning I didn't wear makeup to church, but I did have on fake lashes. And so I'm like, what do I even do that for anyway? You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I mean, I like to feel good, but I feel like we do just compare ourselves and think that we have to look like this or we have to look a certain way. I mean, my nickname at work, the girls call me Barbie at work.

SPEAKER_01:

I can see that.

SPEAKER_00:

they're like one of the girls that the morning we came in really really early and second shift was still there they work till uh like five in the morning and she was like how do you get up and look like that every day i'm like listen i'm trying to do better because i could spend more time spending time with god or doing something else you know i mean if i didn't spend an hour getting ready every day but we why do i do that i don't know

SPEAKER_01:

I don't even put makeup on. It

SPEAKER_00:

still takes me an hour to get ready every day. I know, but I'm trying to get to where I don't and trying to be, like, okay with who I am. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, but it's a process. It is.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a process. I'm getting there.

SPEAKER_01:

Right? Because I remember coming home for Christmas one year and... am not i've never been a small person right i you know i don't remember ever wearing a size zero or size two pants right i remember being in school wearing little girls clothes and then i wear or like 11 12 13 14 right so i've never been small my you know i'm big boned

SPEAKER_00:

that's right

SPEAKER_01:

you know me too uh But I remember coming home on Christmas after being on meth for several years. And my mama kept this video. They videoed the Christmas that morning. And she showed it to me later. And I weighed 102 pounds. 102 pounds. Lord mercy. I ain't never weighed less than 140 that I can remember. But I weighed 102 pounds.

UNKNOWN:

Wow.

SPEAKER_01:

I was dressed in clothes that I would never dare wear, right? And it's not because I'm a big girl. It's because women shouldn't represent themselves that

SPEAKER_02:

way,

SPEAKER_01:

right? And I believe that, right? I believe that you should be modest in your clothing, and I believe that you should be– you can look nice and sexy and look respectable, right? But when she showed me this video, my face– My eyeballs are stuck into my head. You know, my hair is thin and stringy. My hair has never been thin and stringy. It's always been thick and curly, but it's thin and it's stringy, you know, and I've got on, I've got on like three tons of makeup, right? Just trying to hide the dark eyes and all the mess. And I cried when she, when I come home, and was trying to get clean, she showed me that video. I cried. People let me walk around looking like that. We thought we looked good. And I thought I looked good. Oh, yeah, I did. And it just, you know, when I finally did get clean, nine months pregnant, I only weighed 162 pounds. nine months pregnant. When Dylan was born, I weighed 162 pounds. I weighed 118 when I got pregnant with him. So I gained a lot of weight. You just couldn't tell I gained a lot of weight because I should have never been that size to start with, right? That's not healthy for me. But talking about comparison, when I watched that video, I realized right then and there that if people who love me or was my friend was going to let me walk around in the world looking that way, then they, nobody cares about the way I look. Nobody cares. I'm serious. Like nobody cares if I look like I wrote out of the bed. Now they might whisper about me and they might talk about me, but at the end of the day, that's just because I got nothing else better to do. Nobody cares. I quit worrying about what people thought the day I watched that video. It was awful. And I'm still, like, it still just blows my mind that people let me be around in the world. Like, I was getting high with my daddy. And my daddy never said nothing about me looking that way. But now that I think about it, it's because he looked that way, too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We all look the same. We didn't care, you know. My daddy did teach me to eat on meth, right? Like, I'd go home for Thanksgiving dinner and sit down and eat a seven-course meal. And then go back home and get high. So, I don't know. But comparison is truly real, right? It is so real. In this powerful grace-soaked episode, we're going to pull back the curtains on comparison and insecurities. Let's get honest. Comparison is everywhere. Social media, TV, the workplace, even at church.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

right? It is so easy to fall into the trap. The enemy will target insecurities that we have placed in a box in the back of our heart or mind. Remember that, that time when, um, when, you know, when you, the box. So that movie, there's the movie, um, oh, what's the movie? Inside Out, right? And they, it shows all the little girls' emotions, right? Well, in Inside Out 2, they are, it shows where the emotion that had been trying to protect her her whole life from anything that was going to be sad had been storing them in a box and just putting them out of the way. So she had never dealt with disappointment. She had never dealt with, you know, with anything sad. She had never dealt with those raw emotions. She'd always just been happy and joyful, the little girl had been. And now that she was a teenager, you know, those boxes were... leaking into into the thing and you sit and you think about it right you sit and think about driving down the road and one of those boxes leak right and then and that's where we come in at that's where the enemy starts to target our insecurities you know um I know my biggest insecurity is a bad mom, right? You know, the relationship that I've had with my son in the years, that one still grabs a hold of me sometimes. It's easy to fall into that trap, you know, because I'm really good to the broken people at work. You know, I really am. I'm really good to the people that I see now that are broken, but I wasn't good when he was a kid. And so I compare myself to other moms, right? Like my sister, she's always been, she had twins to start with. She's got a third now. You know, he just turned 11. Her girls are amazing, right? Like they're self-efficient. They're very smart. They're very intelligent. She's done a really good job with her kids. They're well-rounded, right? But she was there, right? She was there physically and emotionally. And, you know, sometimes I wish that could be me. Yeah. I wish that could be me. Yeah. You know, but she was raised in the same house I was raised in. She just made better choices than I

SPEAKER_02:

did.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, and at the end of the day, when we're comparing ourselves to other people or we find out these insecurities, do we have those because of choices we make?

SPEAKER_00:

A lot of my things stem from it. And for me, I used to compare myself. We've talked about this before to my brothers. You know, they're very successful and they're very, I feel like they have a really good relationship with the Lord or they're maybe in a different spot than I am. And so I finally, when I finally realized that their walk is not the same walk as mine, we're on the same path that you were talking about earlier, but our callings are different. Right. My youngest brother can play the keyboard like nobody's business. He plays at Crosspoint. My other brother, Pastors, can play, sing. My next oldest brother, he drives a truck. He can play any instrument you can think of. Pick it up and play it. Just never had a lesson in his life. And I feel like I struggle to do anything right a lot of times. You know what I mean? I used to feel that way. I'm getting a lot better now. And so... When I finally realized that, I can't compare myself to them. Their walk is their walk. I made choices, like you said, that got me to where I'm at today. I remember Michael told Mom that one time. He was like, Mom, quit beating yourself up. We was all raised in the same house, under the same roof. She made her choices. We made ours. This is where we're at. But there's people that I can reach that they may not ever reach. There's people that they can reach that I may not ever reach. But together... We all play a part. We all have gifts. We all have call-ins. I would love to be able to sit in and play the piano and sing like they do. But what I can do is sit with an addict or somebody that's lost their kids in defects or you know some people that's overdosed or you know some people that struggle with depression and i can sit right there with them some people that's been in prison or jail i can sit there with them

SPEAKER_01:

and we can lead it we can show them that there's hope

SPEAKER_00:

yeah

SPEAKER_01:

right i remember you know

SPEAKER_00:

um

SPEAKER_01:

When I was starting back with my faith and stuff, I remember going to church and being like, well, I can do that. Okay, so I joined a small group, but I didn't fit in, right? And it's not that they did anything that made me feel like I didn't fit in. It's not that they didn't, you know, not make me feel like I fit in. It was never them. It was always me, you know. The church, you know, the pastor would ask me to, you know, come up on stage and share my testimony. And I gladly did that and stuff. But then after I would do it, I would feel shame, right?

SPEAKER_00:

So the enemy works.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, like I would go up and I would share my testimony. And the testimony is amazing, right? I mean, where I came from. But I would feel shame. And it was so hard starting out. right when i was still dealing right because i hadn't dealt with all of the insecurities or i hadn't dealt with all the shame or all the guilt or all of the different things that i had felt i just remember comparing my journey to other people's like why why can't i hear him right like it's not like i woke up one morning and god was whispering in my ears right he may have been But my heart wasn't ready to let him in. Not fully. Right? We were ready to let him stop by. Yeah. Right? We wanted him

SPEAKER_00:

to listen. But we weren't fully surrendered.

SPEAKER_01:

But we weren't fully surrendered. So I couldn't hear him even though I wanted to. But you have to fully surrender. And you have to start to, you have to dig deep. There's wounds in there. There's insecurities in there that you have to dig deep. You know? You may not realize that it's an insecurity until God says, hey, psst. That's got to go away. Yeah. You know, it says in Romans 12, 6, we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. To each of us.

SPEAKER_01:

To each of us. That's our story.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's our story. Your story is your different gift. You know? you and it doesn't matter what your story is it doesn't matter what it is it doesn't matter if you grew up in church every sunday and you did this or you did that there's a story there's a story maybe you've been married to your husband for 60 years that's a story worth telling i Pray every day that me and my husband make it to six

SPEAKER_00:

years. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I don't want to be one of those that fell at marriage. I mean, I didn't get married until I was 37 years old. I was 100% sure he was the one, right? I've been engaged two or three times. I even had the dress, bought the invitations. filled them all out, bought stamps for all of the wedding invitations, and went to the post office to sit in my car and cry for two hours because I couldn't get out to go mail them. And he was a good guy. He was nice to me. He was good to Dylan. Right? He didn't hit me. He didn't yell at me. He didn't cuss me. Shh. I loved him. Mm-hmm. Not really. But he was a good guy.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Right? And that's all I wanted was somebody to be good to me.

UNKNOWN:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

And then one day I realized that the only thing that needed to be good to me was God. And that was a hard realization because I compared myself to my sister, her husband, and their marriage, and their children, and their home, and their nice cars, and

SPEAKER_02:

their...

SPEAKER_01:

I was barely making the bills. I had to move back in with my mama so that I could afford to feed my kid. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. At 28 years old, to have to move back in with your mom just so you can feed your kid.

SPEAKER_00:

I did that, but I was like a boomerang.

SPEAKER_01:

So it was hard. It was hard. And it was hard to let go of that. It was hard to let go of that. I felt like for a long time that I started out as a failure as a mom. I wasn't married. He didn't have a daddy. His daddy didn't stay around. He didn't have a daddy. We had to move back home. I had to move back home. He was sleeping in a bassinet in the bedroom that I grew up in just to be able to afford to feed him. I worked a job, but I had to make decisions and sacrifices in the way. I always swore. when I got clean, that I would never let anything or anyone make me feel lesser than. But I truly did not come out of that insecurity until I gave it all to God. I felt lesser than the whole

SPEAKER_00:

time.

SPEAKER_01:

Even going to church, even sharing my story, the devil would have weight. And I helped people. Like, there was people struggling. You know, there was younger people struggling, you know, and we'd talk them into going to church with us. And I put on that perfect facade, right? I was happy all the time, and life was perfect. And behind closed doors, and I'd bring my car, they were

SPEAKER_00:

gone.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, and those insecurities, and that comparison, and that wanting to be one person and truly being somebody else is... what women and men both need to solve.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's exhausting.

SPEAKER_01:

It is so exhausting.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, I think a lot, too, for me, I think a lot of my insecurities came from, I was in a lot of abusive relationships, a lot. And it was almost like I was a magnet to these men. Oh, yeah. A literal magnet. And not only do the It was a lot of physical abuse, but a lot of mental and emotional abuse. And I think a lot of times when you go through that, you know, you are beat down. When they're telling you all that you're this and you're that and you'll never be. Nobody ever wants you. You're not good enough. And you start believing those lies. You do. And we talked about this on one of the other episodes. I literally had to speak those things out. That I come out of agreement that I'm not enough. I come out of agreement with the lie that I'm ugly or that I'll never be nothing. But it's not just you wake up and it just happens. No. Because you think, well, I'm good and then something will happen. And you're like, why am I feeling like this? Well, because you believe in the lie of the enemy. You're not believing the truth about yourself. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you know, underneath comparison, there's a lot of deeper wounds. I remember the first guy that I dated that hit me. The first time he hit me, I thought, excuse you? I wouldn't raise like that. This ain't happening. And then he didn't hit me. He apologized, and he was very sad and very whatever. And he didn't hit me for a long time after that. But by the time he hit me the second time, he convinced me to move out of state. I was living in a place I didn't know anybody but him and his mama, living with his mama, taking care of his mama for him. And... We would go to bed at night, and he would sleep with a knife under his pillow. And I remember laying there thinking, if I could just get my hands on that. If I could just get my hands on that pillow, he'd never touch me again.

SPEAKER_02:

You

SPEAKER_01:

know, if I could just get my hands on that pillow. But I was so nervous. It's not like I didn't... He left the knife under the pillow every day, right? Like... But the only time I thought about it is when we were laying there and I knew it was there because the rest of the time I worried about what's going to push his buttons when he comes home, what's going to make him mad the next day, you know, when he gets home from work, what's going to do this, what's going to do that. You know, and there's deeper wounds that make you feel like you're not good enough. You're not beautiful enough. You're not worthy. And that's all lies. That's all from the pits of hell. Straight up lies. There's no words around that. There's nothing different. There's no way to explain it. There's no way to talk about it differently. There's no way to look at it differently. You are worthy. Yes. You are. are enough no matter what decisions you've made no matter what things you have done in your life if you want to sit down today and you want to pray to Jesus and you want to start a relationship with him that's all he wants and that's enough for him he doesn't care about your past and I know we've talked about my husband and I love my husband and my husband knows that I'm an ex-drug addict he knows that I had abusive relationships he knows that I used to drink and do drugs and partied. When we first met, he'd have told you he would never, he'd have never went out with me because I wasn't the right kind of girl for him, right? And we knew that about each other. We knew we were in total different worlds and we didn't really like each other. He didn't like who I was. I didn't like who I was. But now we don't ask.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Like he doesn't ask because that's not who I am. He watched me change from that person to the person that he fell in love with. And that's the only person that he cares about. And I am enough. I'm hard. I'm hard to love. Right. You know, and I hurt his feelings and I know I do because I'm hard to love, you know, just because I do it. The other day I did something and when he did it back to me, It hurt my feelings. Oh, yeah. But it's okay for us. Right? And then when it hurt my feelings, he goes, I don't know why it hurt you. He goes, I know it hurt your feelings. He says, but how do you think it makes me feel? And you do me that way all the time. And I thought, oh, God, I do.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I do. Like, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But sometimes I do it out of protection. Right? Like, I don't mean to do it. Like, I do it out of... And it's not his fault. And it's been... We'll be married 10 years in October. Dylan was... Dylan's 21. So I haven't been in an abusive relationship until at least 21 years. Right? Dylan's daddy left when Dylan was three months old. So I haven't been around abusive anything since Dylan was three months old. Right? But sometimes those... Habits you learn or those behaviors that you learn. I get it today. Sometimes he catches it, but he never asks. He never asks no questions. God's view of us will never change. No matter what we've done, no matter what we say or do, And I feel that about my husband. I feel like there is nothing I could do other than cheat on him. If I cheated on him, he probably wouldn't ever forgive me. But there's nothing I could do, nothing I could say, that would make him change the way he looks at me. And when I told him I wanted to start this podcast, Yeah, he goes, well, what are you going to talk about? I was like, I don't know, just whatever God lays on my heart to talk about. And he's like, I was like, are you going to listen? He's like, nope, I don't want to hear it. I was like, okay, okay. Biblical truth about why do we feel ugly or not enough. Psalms 139, 14. I praise you because I am fearful and wonderfully made.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. I

SPEAKER_01:

praise you because I am wonderfully

SPEAKER_00:

made.

UNKNOWN:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

No matter where you are.

SPEAKER_00:

Masterpiece.

SPEAKER_01:

You're His

SPEAKER_00:

masterpiece.

SPEAKER_01:

Ephesians 2.10 For we are God's masterpiece. You know, Da Vinci and all these different artists, all this stuff that hangs in a museum. We are in God's museum. We are His masterpiece. Scarred, broken, Loved, not loved. On that potter's wheel. Every day He shapes us, right? What does God say about being enough? What does He say?

SPEAKER_00:

We are enough.

SPEAKER_01:

We are enough.

SPEAKER_00:

Just like we are. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes we try to make is coming to God as something or someone else. With our mask and all this stuff. No, He just wants us just like we are.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I've heard people say, well, you know, when I get it together, you know, and you watch all these movies, you know, I'm a Hallmark. I love Hallmark. I'm a Hallmark fan, you know, and, you know, they don't, the prodigal son doesn't go home, right? Because he wants to be perfect before he goes back home. But when the day comes and he goes home, The dad runs for him. And do you know in the Bible, back in that day and time, that that was a disgrace for the father to run to the child? Like that was disgrace on the family, on the family name. And yet he opened his arms and he run for his son. Jesus does you the same way. When you want to come home, when you are ready to give it to him, He will open his arms and he will wrap you up in his arms and love you. Yes. Imperfections, anger, all the trauma, all the PTSD, all the depression, all the whatever. He will love you for who you are.

SPEAKER_02:

Amen.

SPEAKER_01:

My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12, 9. The truth is that we are enough. We are not enough on our own. But in Christ, we are more than enough. We are human. And as a human, we make mistakes. And as a human, we don't always do the right thing. But when you love God... And you have conviction, just like we talked about in the last podcast. Conviction. You're enough. 1 Peter 2.9. You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood.

SPEAKER_00:

Chosen people.

SPEAKER_01:

You're

SPEAKER_00:

chosen. He chose us. He chose us. It ain't like when you were kids and we were playing ball and you're like... They're going to pick teams. And you're standing there, and you're like, are they going to pick me, pick me, pick me? No. You don't even have that feeling that you

SPEAKER_01:

felt.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah. You're not

SPEAKER_01:

first, but you don't want to be last either, right?

SPEAKER_00:

No. But the good thing about God, He chose us. He does like what He chose us. Team one. Team one.

SPEAKER_01:

The winning

SPEAKER_00:

team.

SPEAKER_01:

We are on the winning team.

SPEAKER_00:

God is so good.

SPEAKER_01:

He is. Do you have a testimony where God has affirmed your worth in a low moment? If so, please share it with us on Facebook. We would love to hear y'all's stories. We would love to hear not just how our podcast has touched you, but just a story. Share with us. I was frustrated about a month ago with the podcast part of it and stuff because there's no comments. on any of the episodes. The few comments that we've received on Facebook was friends of ours saying, hey, listen to this. This is great. But then the ones that we touch, they reach out directly. They've been reaching out directly, which is amazing and wonderful. Please don't stop doing that. But then God reminded me Shannon, you didn't start this for the likes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You didn't start this for the comments. You didn't start this, you know, you said that firmly, you know, and it's not for the likes for sure, but it's the want to know that it's touching somebody. It is. Oh, it is. It is. It is. We have, you know, we have to overdo it.

SPEAKER_00:

It touches me and we speak it.

SPEAKER_01:

I know, right? By

SPEAKER_00:

the way, this was for me today.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's like going to church some weeks. Last week

SPEAKER_00:

I was at home and I was crying and everything. I was like, I needed that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you did. You did. It was good for you. It was definitely good for you. But it's like one of those things that, you know, I listen to all these other podcasts, but I don't want to be famous. I don't want to be famous. I don't like fame. the spotlight, I don't want to be famous, right? I don't want to be all of that. I do a lot of things with a bunch of nonprofits, and I do a lot of work helping in the community where my store is. And the other day, one of the nonprofits goes, why don't you tell people what you do for us? And I was like, meh, meh. It wouldn't be as much fun if everybody knew. And they're like, yeah, but we want to recognize you. And I was like, that's fine. You can recognize the group of us. And they're like, no, we want to recognize you. And I was like, well, I'm not going to tell you not to, right? But I don't expect it either. And that's the same thing with this podcast. I'm not going to tell you to recognize us, and it's okay. We have hit five countries, and we have hit over... Over 30 states and different counties in those 30 states. Somebody's listening.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Somebody's listening. Yeah. Other than the people from Dalton, Georgia that know us. Yeah. Right. And that's, that's enough and it has to be enough and it's going to be enough.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But I compared us. I mean, I was, you know, I was kind of, you know. And then my husband asked questions about it. You know, how many followers do you have and how many this and how many that? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't look. And then I look. And then when I look, I start thinking about it. So I choose not to look anymore.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_01:

You know. But how do we help the younger generation see their worth? You talk about it. Talk about your legacy.

SPEAKER_00:

We model it. Live by example.

SPEAKER_01:

Live by example.

SPEAKER_00:

Speaking highly of yourself. Yes. Not in a prideful way. I think that my girls need to see me know my worth. They see me a lot of years giving my worth to somebody else. Right. And so I think it's very, very important that they see me today, that I know who I am in Christ.

UNKNOWN:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

that I can be not in a proper way, but a humble way. Knowing who you are, knowing that I'm worthy. I'm a daughter of the King. I don't have to live a defeated life. I can walk in victory. That's what God has called us to do, is to walk in victory, not in a defeated life, and know who we are. If you don't know who you are, you can't walk in victory. No. You do your walk in the wilderness like we did for years and you're walking around and running

SPEAKER_01:

around. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_00:

Because you don't know where you're going.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, but we also have to talk about the physical things. Right? Talk about our bodies. Yeah. Positively. I weigh 180 pounds and I'm okay with that. You always say me too. You know, I carry it well. And my body hurts. I'm old. But it could be worse. We have to talk about our successes, and we have to talk about our faith. We have to talk about where we came from and how we got here. And my sister's got twin girls, and I guess it's been three or four months ago, and one of them says, they told their mom, they said, what happened? Aunt Shannon's so different. And I am. I am. I think more of others. I don't just think about me. I think more of what's going on around me and about how it affects other people. And we have to teach our younger generation that. We have to speak life over our younger generation. daily you know we have to speak life over our young generations over our next generations right uh we have to uh we have to break those generational courses that we've created that we've allowed to happen from generation to generation and we have to speak them out with purpose we have to speak gifts and we have not just appearances right we have to talk about our gifts talk about their gifts right

SPEAKER_00:

we call them up to their identity Call them up to their identity.

SPEAKER_01:

The hardest part for me is finding my purpose. It's been finding my purpose. You know, I've struggled with why. Why did you pull me out of the lion's den? Right? I lived in the lion's den for so long. You pulled me out wanting to have a kid and screw him up. I mean, that's how I felt. Right? I screwed him up emotionally. I felt like, you know, you pulled me out of the lion's den. You gave me something to love to emotionally screw him up. That's what I did. Right? But now I don't feel that way.

SPEAKER_00:

I

SPEAKER_01:

mean, yes. Yes, we struggled. And yes, he struggles emotionally. But we've found help for him. And we talk about it now. And we're breaking those general curses. And we have to be transparent with our own struggles. And we have to be transparent with them about what we did and where we came from. So that they don't make the same mistakes. And they don't live the same kind of life we live. And then talk God to them. Not just compliments. But teach them His Word. Teach them that they are chosen.

SPEAKER_02:

They

SPEAKER_01:

are God's masterpiece. Speak those truths over them. Boy or girl, they need to know who they are in Christ. Finding your identity in Christ is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

I went to the women's homeless shelter a couple weeks ago and spoke on... We had talked about that in one of our podcasts. And so I literally had labels that says, Hello, my name is. And I had wrote, Daughter of the King, Forgiveness, just different things. Hello, my name is. Things that God would call you. There was like 14 different things. So I let them choose which one they wanted to wear. And so it was amazing to... hear why they picked what they did. Because they had a struggle. They had a reason that something they were struggling with that I wanted them to wear that. To actually pull it off and wear who God called them to be. And just even that little act literally changed the whole atmosphere in the room. When you started speaking, oh, I'm not just a... A lot of them there at the shelter are not there, but there's only one there that was the cause of drugs. The rest were just hard... Some of them were coming out of bad relationships just to get out of the house. Different things. It wasn't just because they weren't wanting to work. Some of them just had some hard cases. It was good to be able to call them out into their identity in Christ. We have to do that. We have to remind people, no matter where you're at in life, I'm no different than y'all. Y'all are no different than me. We're all the same. God loves us just the same. And it's almost like a click for some of them. They're like, oh, if God would do it for her, he'll do it for me. He loves me too. And so sometimes it takes us women that's been through some stuff, that God's brought us out of some stuff, to go speak life into other people and to call them up to their identity. Because if we don't, who will?

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Right. If we are not sharing our story and

SPEAKER_00:

not,

SPEAKER_01:

you know, and I guess coming to the realization, you know, your mom, when I worked with your mom, she, you know, she kept telling me, you need to meet Debra. You need to meet Debra. You need to get with Debra. You and Debra need to be friends. You know, but it wasn't.

SPEAKER_00:

Tom.

SPEAKER_01:

Tom.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I was out there.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I wasn't nowhere where I

SPEAKER_00:

am today.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, like I was, I was, still struggling yeah right um you know there's there's a big controversy about brandon lake and jelly roe it's all over media social media right brandon lake brought jelly roe in to sing hard fault hallelujah right and uh and i watched a uh a uh interview with the two of them the other day and you know and uh brandon lake has just bought jelly roe everywhere you know and jelly roe will be the first to tell you five years ago yeah i was lost mm-hmm Yesterday when I woke up, I was still lost, but I'm trying to figure it out. And he said, the only thing I know for sure is that God is God and he loves me where I am. And he said, the rest of it, I'm working on daily. He admits he is not the holy man of God that Brandon Lake is.

SPEAKER_00:

But Brandon's speaking life into him.

SPEAKER_01:

But Brandon is speaking life into him. And why, as Christians, do we find that to be so awful? I know. Like, I mean, they are just bashing the crap out of him.

SPEAKER_00:

Help them, Lord. It

SPEAKER_01:

makes me speechless. Like, why? Do you know the kind of people that Jelly Roe, he is on tour with Post Malone. Do you know the kind of people that come to Post Malone shows? Do you know that may be the only opportunity these people hear the name of Jesus? Mm-hmm. But he's been given the opportunity. We should praise that and pray over it. Right? That might be the revival we need to bring this country to its knees. But yet we... Because it ain't what

SPEAKER_00:

we think it should look like. Society.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You

SPEAKER_01:

know what I mean? I understand.

SPEAKER_00:

Do it, Lord.

SPEAKER_01:

Give it to them.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Proverbs 31.25, she is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

You are clothed with strength and dignity. You know, a woman has come out of an abusive relationship. or a woman that has lost her child to defects, or a woman that has picked herself up out of the ditches, a man who has lost his children because of alcohol, who has lost his family because of drug addiction, who used to be the man that beat the woman, you're clothed. indignant and you have a strength that people will never understand when you bring yourself out of the ditch you know there is millions of ways to hit rock bottom but when you find the way to out it is the most amazing thing that will ever happen in your life yeah but you gotta find the way out yeah And the only way I've ever found the way out is Jesus. Can you change what you believe without changing what you feed your mind? Can you? I don't think you can. I truly don't think you can. I love all kinds of music. Love all kinds of music. I have never been... one kind of music kind of person right i've always liked r&b i've liked rap i've liked alternative i liked grunge music you know i like country music whatever speaks to me you know and but nowadays i like gospel music you know and it's because it's what speaks to me yes and i believe what you listen with your ears is what you hear in your heart yeah If you continue to hear negativity, if you continue to hear bad things all the time, I believe, you know, the lady from Full House, Cameron Burr, I think is her name, but they're giving her a hard time because she was on a talk show and she said that she's never seen a horror movie. She worked for Hollywood. She's worked in Hollywood since she was a kid, but she's never seen a horror movie because she believes that that opens the door for demons to come into your house. I agree. I agree that when you allow things, because, I mean, some of that stuff, where did it come from? It could only have come from the devil, right? Right. Some of these things you can't think up on your own. Somebody is whispering that evilness into your thoughts. You know? So let's get practical. How you guard against comprehension and walk in God's confidence. You replace the lies with scripture and affirmation. If you can't find affirmation yourself... Find a friend that can

SPEAKER_00:

help you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. Right? People can speak it into

SPEAKER_00:

your ear,

SPEAKER_01:

but it can't just be them. Right? Once someone helps you, you have to find your own feet. Yeah. You know, it's no different than going out here and getting assistance. Eventually, you've got to stand on your own two feet. Affirmation is the same way, but people can help lead you in the right direction. Right. Follow accounts and triggers. What triggers

SPEAKER_00:

is insecurity.

SPEAKER_01:

Unfollow accounts. But what triggers those insecurities? What happens? Recognize. Recognize, right? It took a long time for me to recognize my PTSD and what triggered my PTSD. And nowadays, I know what to do. when something happens that triggers my PTSD. And it's not used to. You see, I was taking a pill that would knock me out, and I'd wake up, forgot about what had happened. Now I hit my knees. Now I pray. But you've got to figure out what those triggers are. What are those triggers that make you mad? What are those triggers that make you depressed? What are those triggers that make you feel unworthy?

UNKNOWN:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

And you can start a gratitude list.

SPEAKER_01:

A gratitude

SPEAKER_00:

list. Gratitude changes your attitude. I like to say that. Oh. Gratitude changes your attitude.

SPEAKER_01:

It does. It does. And you know.

SPEAKER_00:

My new Facebook post, by the way.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh.

SPEAKER_00:

I just thought of that.

SPEAKER_01:

oh yep look it does though it does it really does you know and uh we're not going to go through the trials like david did right we're not going to be thrown in the lion's den but are we we're not going to be you know uh there's a song you know it says uh we're not going to be through you know we're going to david was in the lion's den and then three days later he walks out alive and You know, and then you've got, you know, the ocean and the walking across the ocean, Peter. And we're not going to ever see those kinds

SPEAKER_02:

of

SPEAKER_01:

miracles, right? Because Jesus isn't standing here with us. But what miracles do you see?

SPEAKER_02:

What

SPEAKER_01:

miracles do you see every day? Don't tell me you don't because they're there. Yeah. I'm grateful. I wake up every day. Yeah. You know, for a long time in addiction, I used to tell everybody, Oh, I ain't got to worry about it. I'm not going to live to be 30. I don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to live to be 30. And then one day I turned 30 clean. You know, when I turned 30, I was clean. My son was a few years old and, uh, I was struggling with who I was and struggling with my identity and my self worth. And, uh, trying to figure out how to be a mom how to love myself you can't be a mom and not love yourself right but I used to not worry about it but now I thank God every morning I wake up you know and so gratitude doesn't have to be huge it doesn't have to be the big things in life you know I'm grateful I can get out of the bed I mean as rough as I've been on my body it makes me wonder why I'm not crippled or Something. I mean, I did some crazy things. Yeah. I mean, and I was in some crazy car wrecks. And so if you would think I'd be a little bit more messed up. And then speak blessings over yourself in the mirror. Yeah. Speak affirmation over yourself in the mirror. Look in your eyes when you're struggling and speak affirmation. truth about yourself and i know that that's hard and i know that when you're down and you're depressed or when you know i am chosen yeah god knows my name i am loved by him i am enough for him you know um i had an associate tell me the other day they were like you know, you've only been here a week and you've called me by my name three times. And the other store manager was here for like 10 years and he never called me by my name. And I was like, okay, what did he call you? And she goes, well, I'm glad you called me by my name. Like I took the time to read her name badge and I'm not the best at it. Right. But for some reason I remembered her name. God knows she needed that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That recognition, you know, and sometimes it's just that. simple calling by his name call out to jesus call out to god and say god i am chosen by you i am known by you i am loved by you and i am enough for you if you are struggling with this today Buy a paint pen. Write it on your mirror. Write it on a sticky note. Read it every day. Stick it on the visor of your car. Stick it in your purse. You know, I stick sticky notes where my debit card is because I know I'm going to reach for my debit card at least three times a day. I like to eat. You know, real. You don't always have to just say it out loud, but just to read it. It'll help. It'll help with that. You know, you are enough. Every sister listening to this podcast, you are loved. You are chosen. You were chosen to listen to this podcast today. You are enough. I can't tell you enough how much you are loved. And it's not because the way you look. It's not because you get a lot to like. It's not about your status in life. It's not about whether you're poor or you live in a big house or you drive a nice car. You are loved because the one who created you, the one who made you, you, loves you. Yes. Loves you, loves you. Share this with a sister who needs to hear it. And if you've got a daughter or a niece or a mentee, you've got a son. They need to hear it just as much as the girls. Sit down with them and listen. Listen together. Tell them how much He loves them. Tell them how much He covers them. Speak blessing over them. Speak confidence over them. Speak strength over them. Let's keep this grace-filled conversation going until next time. Live loved, walk boldly, and remember you are not too much. You are just enough. You're God's masterpiece. Deb, take us out in prayer.

SPEAKER_00:

And Lord, I just pray that everyone, Amen. We love you. We love you.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Shannon Mooney

Host
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Debra Watkins

Co-host
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Danni House

Editor

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