" Are You High Maintenance?"

 In this episode of Unrelated Sisters: Truth & Grace Conversation, we’re flipping the script on what it means to be “high maintenance.” Is it about hair, heels, and hustle—or is there a deeper call to maintain our spiritual life with the same intention and care? Join us as we explore how to prioritize peace over perfection and live rooted in God’s truth. Are you high maintenance… in your spirit? 💅🏽 This week, the Unrelated Sisters tackle the pop culture label and ask what it really means in the life of a woman of faith. We break down the difference between striving and abiding, talk about daily spiritual habits, and ask some soul-searching questions: Are we spending more time on our outer beauty than our inner peace? Are we maintaining our relationship with God like we do everything else?

💭 Topics covered:

• The world’s definition of “high maintenance” vs. God's definition of worth
• How spiritual maintenance is deeper than daily devotionals — it’s about abiding
• John 15:4 and James 4:8 as anchors for peace and connection
• Practical tips to prioritize God, protect your peace, and walk in consistent grace
• A powerful prayer to center your soul and release perfectionism

💬 Whether you’re a boss babe, mama in the thick of it, or just tired of the hustle—this conversation is for you.

We want this to be truly interactive podcast. Please go in the fan mail and tell us your stories and let us know if it’s okay to share (no names). Let us know if you need prayer or how we can support you in your journey. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. Follow us on Facebook @Unrelatedsisterspodcast.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04: 0:01

Lord, we love you today. We thank you for this opportunity. Lord, you just come together, God, as sisters. Unrelated sisters, that's what we are. But we thank you, God, that you're going to speak through us today and that every word spoken will bring truth and grace. In Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_00: 0:31

Amen. Hey, ladies, and welcome back. This is Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace Conversation. And today, we are digging into...

SPEAKER_04: 0:41

Wait, you didn't tell me who you are. Oh, I

SPEAKER_00: 0:44

forgot. Who am

SPEAKER_04: 0:46

I? I'm

SPEAKER_00: 0:46

your host, Shannon. And I...

SPEAKER_04: 0:52

Well, okay. She's Shannon. I'm Deb.

SPEAKER_00: 0:54

And we are Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace Conversation.

SPEAKER_04: 0:59

We are. So today, I chose this topic on high maintenance because a few months back, I was in the tanning bed because I like to tan at least once a week. And, you know, a lot of times I use that nine minutes that I'm standing there to pray. And it goes by faster if I'm praying in the tanning bed. So anyway, I was praying and talking to the Lord about some things. And he asked me the question, are you high maintenance? Because I guess I was thinking about being in the tanning bed, obviously. And I was like, well, Lord, you know I am. You know what I mean? Pretty high maintenance, I like to think. And so then he asked me this other question. How is your spirit, man? How maintenance is your spirit, man? And I was like, ooh. So that got me digging. So I got to thinking about, and I started going, and I went home, and I was looking up the definition of what being high maintenance actually is. And I think, and don't get me wrong, I think that having it together, high maintenance is not a bad thing, I don't think. As long as you are doing it in moderation. Because I think that the Lord wants you to have nice things. And wants you to, you know, to look present. If that's what you like. You know what I mean? But what are you doing it for? You know what I mean? And so, really, I don't know. It got me to thinking about how much time I spend getting ready. The money I spend. You know, maybe getting her nails done and things to keep my outward appearance. And so I was like, why do I do that? Do I do it? So, you know, I argue with God sometimes. And I'm like, well, God, I do that because, you know, I just like to. But really, why do I do it? Am I doing it because I'm comparing? You know, I see other women. And is it like a comparison thing you're trying to keep up? You know what I mean? And so really, I spend a lot of time in the mornings. I would say... 45 minutes, I guess, getting ready in the morning. You know what I mean? And I wear makeup every day. I don't know, Shannon, are you high maintenance?

SPEAKER_00: 3:24

So first of all, let's define high

SPEAKER_04: 3:27

maintenance, right?

SPEAKER_00: 3:28

So high maintenance in pulp culture right now, right? What it means is You hear it all the time. Oh, she's high maintenance. But what does it really mean? And what's it really about when it comes to your spiritual lives? So high maintenance is demanding a lot of attention, money, effort, or time. Requiring a lot to be happy. So you ask the question, why? Why do you spend 45 minutes getting ready every morning? Or why do you feel like you're high maintenance? So I don't call it high maintenance. I get my nails done every two weeks. I get my hair done every five weeks. I get a massage once a month. I call that self-care, right? But I don't do it for anybody but myself, and I've not always done it. I just started doing it a few years ago when I realized that self-care, right, that hour of massage once a month, I don't have a phone on. I don't have my watch on. I lay there with my eyes closed, getting my massage, and that's my moment, right? To do, if I want to go to sleep, I go to sleep. If I want to pray to God, I pray to God. If I want to do it, I'll do it. It's not high maintenance to me. It's self-care, right? Because you have to, as women and as caregivers, it's hard to find that moment of peace in your life. So, It's really why are you doing high maintenance is what's important. Why do you get up and spend 45 minutes getting ready every morning? Why? Because I used to do it. I used to get up every morning and put makeup on. And I used to get up every morning and spend 45 minutes doing my hair and all of that. And I don't do that anymore. And here's why. Because the one person that needs to know who I am and know what my heart is, he knows. And he doesn't care if I have makeup on. He doesn't care if my hair goes poof. He doesn't care. You know, I'm not saying you need to get up and be like some of those people at Walmart. And everybody has seen that website. I'm not saying that. You need to have brushy hair. You need to fix your hair. You know, you need to... Wash your face. Well,

SPEAKER_04: 5:46

I know you have brushy teeth and all

SPEAKER_00: 5:47

that. Brushy teeth. You know, you need to do all that. But if you like putting on makeup, I don't like it. I don't mind putting on the makeup. I don't like coming home and having to clean it off. Right? I'll go to bed and then my pillow is covered in makeup because I'm too lazy to wash it. That's why I don't have contacts. Like, I don't want to deal with having to put them in every day. I did have them one time. I just didn't know what to do about it. So then I got my foundation.

UNKNOWN: 6:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_04: 6:12

Well, I think this just resonated with me because it is something that I've struggled with in my past, too. And even carries on now, I'll just be honest. I like attention. Even my husband, I'm like, I'm a needy person, kind of. Seriously. You wouldn't think it. Maybe you would. I don't know. Kevin will tell you I am. But I think I have that. I don't know. I think I demand a lot of attention. Not as bad as I used to, the more that I'm growing in Christ. And the more time I spend on my spirit, man, the less that becomes. But that was one of the things the Lord, when I started breaking it down, I was like, how much time are you spending in your Bible? And I think all the things that we do, the makeup, like you said, the hair and the nails, that is definitely self-care. But when you break it down to the high maintenance, requiring a lot of attention, effort, money, I feel like I would fall in that category, maybe a 6 or 7. I was a 10, so I'm getting better. You know what I mean? But what do we do it for? You know what I mean? At the end of the day, and when I really started thinking about, and I really started... getting out of myself you know not because i was full of myself and if anybody follows me on facebook you know i take a lot of pictures i'm the selfie queen they call it and a part of me is like oh it's because i was in addiction for so many years and i didn't take pictures no i want everybody to see me you know what i mean it's okay it's okay so um You know, the Lord really was dealing with me on those things about maintaining my spirit, man. And what does that look like? You know, we maintain our, like you're saying, our self-care, and it's okay to do that. You know what I mean? You've got to have that balance. But what's our spirit, man, look like? What's our inside look like?

SPEAKER_00: 8:19

You know, and how do you separate it, right? How do you separate your insides from your outsides would be a question that I would ask, right? And I think that has a lot to do with if you take care of the outside, then it's easier to fulfill the inside, right? Because at the end of the day, we constantly give to everybody else. We give to our kids. We give to our job. We give to our husband. We give to our house. We give to our cars. We give, you know, I mean, I don't know about you, but When my party's an old change, my husband says, take it to Walmart, right? He doesn't do it. Or, you know, when I need something or when I need, you know, my kid needs something, you know, first thing he does is call me, right? So at the end of the day, how do we fulfill our cup? And maybe it is taking selfies. Maybe it is getting our nails done. Maybe it is, right? But... What does God want? He wants that relationship. At the end of the day, it boils down to a relationship, right? He wants you to talk to him. He wants you to ask for things. He wants you to thank him for things. No different than what we want from our kids. You know, as mothers, they're different than what we want from them. And sometimes, you know, the real meaning of high maintenance is who are we trying to impress? What does self-worth look like, right? Because society today tells you that you have to be 5'9", 118 pounds. You know, it's always told us that as kids growing up. You had to wear designer clothes. You had to wear, you know, certain tennis shoes. You know, I remember being a kid and we shopped at Kmart and so we were poor. But nowadays it's even worse. Like American Eagle and Aeropostale and all of those, those name brands, you know, most people can't afford that stuff.

SPEAKER_04: 10:25

Uh, I think a deeper meaning as well, Matt is, uh, constantly this, this really stuck out to me as I was reading, going over this outline, constantly seeking external validation, you know what I mean? And, and, um, you're going to get that. Of course, I'm, Right.

SPEAKER_00: 11:05

You know, it's not about religion. It's about relationships. But it's one of those things like, and I don't know if it was me and you talking about this or if it was me and someone else talking about this. It was me and your mom at the Women's Conference Saturday. When I became a store manager three years ago, I went into a store that had had the same store manager for over 15 years. And he... He kind of let the associates be whoever they were, right? And I'm not saying that I'm not doing that, but out of respect for my faith, when they are using bad words, when they are cussing and they are doing words like that, I would get on to them like I would get on to my child. You know, you can talk however you want to when you're outside this building, but you're not going to talk like that in this building, right? Some people, that doesn't make them feel comfortable. I personally do not like that. I feel like when every other word out of your mouth is a cuss word, it shows how ignorant you really are. If you can't have a conversation without saying a cuss word, every other word, then you don't need to be having conversations. As they have seen my faith, as they have seen They didn't know the Shannon before. They just know the one that came into their building three years ago. Now, I come back the other day from lunch, and they were like, they have been looking for you. And I was like, who is they? And they were like, well, Kelly needs prayer. She's having a rough day, and this one needs that. And it just makes me smile to know that they know if they need prayer. to come and just get that moment of peace, that they can knock on my door and come and do that. If they say a cuss word now, they apologize, right? So they don't, it's not, they don't snarl or look at me funny anymore. You know, used to they kind of cross their eyes at me, or you know how kids do, right? And I treat them like my kids. But they don't do that anymore. And I believe that is part of the inner... Maybe it's coming out. But ask your mama. 13 years ago, 15 years ago, that was not me. I went into her office one day, and I was being so ugly. And not to her. just out loud because i like to express myself out loud and she looked at me and she goes i don't know who you think you are but you're not going to be like that in my office if you need to be like that you need to go somewhere else and i just kind of looked at her like lady you're crazy right and

SPEAKER_04: 13:53

that's my mom

SPEAKER_00: 13:54

yes and don't get me wrong but uh and i believe after that day that woman started praying for me and that's um That's what got me to where I am today. I think she's seen something in me after that, and I truly believe that she started praying for me that day and that it changed my life. It changed my world. But consistent habits is how you maintain a spiritual maintenance, right? And what do you feel like is some of those healthy spiritual habits that we need to have

SPEAKER_04: 14:30

I think for me, and a lot of people is different, but I love worship. Worship is my go-to. When I turn that worship music on, and I do pray throughout the day, and I do more now as I'm growing, but worship is where it's at for me. That's where I get in there, and I feel like I can just surrender and let my spirit man come alive. Because we get so... caught up in doing things and trying to keep up, for me, keep up with everything, books, everything. As a woman, we kind of lose that sometimes. And so when I get into my worship and I get into my prayer time with the Lord, and I can tell, like in the mornings, if I just skim over a verse in my Bible app or Or if I really dig in on the morning, I can tell the difference. I know. Yeah, I can tell. So that lets me know, you know, if I can keep my upkeep on the Spirit, you know, set aside that time, set aside, and I'm not saying to be routine about it, you know, whatever the Lord, because everybody's schedule is different. But I have noticed for me that when I do that, when I set aside that time and just, Lord, I'm setting aside this time for you today. You know, to build up my spirit and encourage myself in you. Like David did. David said he had, you know, David got in his quiet time and he had encouraged himself before the Lord, you know. And that's what we have to do sometimes. And I think that a lot of times we do confuse our standards with striving. And, you know, as women we try to be perfect and we strive to do this and to do that. And we lose sight of really who we are. Oh,

SPEAKER_00: 16:20

yeah. I agree. You know, we talked about that in the first one. I talked about the movie, not knowing what eggs you like, finding your worth in a man, you know, in that relationship, but finding your worth in God. You know, so I am not the greatest at reading my Bible every day. That is just, I've tried three times this year to do the Bible in 365 days. i can't get past all the people every time i get to that every time i get there i'm just like i can't listen to this anymore the lineages of noah and abraham and it's been very hard to get past that part for me um so and that so and i don't want to read i don't want to read books um i was uh I was dyslexic in school, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was a freshman in high school. So I struggled all through school up until I was a freshman. And then I had a teacher that noticed and actually taught me how to deal with that. And so I'm not the best reader. I'm not the best, you know, I'm not the best speller. I'm not the best at any of that academic part of it. But me too is worship. So I drive an hour and 20 minutes to work every day. And I'll drive an hour and 20 minutes home every day. And I've done it for three years. And everybody's like, oh, you're going to get tired of that. That has become my prayer closet, right? That has become my time with God. And it's not every day, right? Like it's not like some days, some days I'll think about work going to work, right? Some days, but when I do that, everything in work is gone. all on fire when I get to work right but when I spend that hour and 20 minutes going worshiping God and praying to God and talking to God and listening to the stories that's where I heard the story from the DJ at you know in last week's podcast listening to that you know and they talk about Bible verses and they read scripture from the Bible and different things like that that is when my day is just my day you know

SPEAKER_04: 18:37

and it's not that when you said that it's not that um things changed at work like it could be the same thing but you're able to get through it and have peace

SPEAKER_00: 18:48

yeah it's not it may still be on fire don't get me wrong but

SPEAKER_04: 18:52

you've already prepared yourself

SPEAKER_00: 18:53

but the way but when i go in with that peace already on me that it doesn't matter what's going on in the building i can just deal with it we're at when i can't when i don't spend time with god i can't deal with it

SPEAKER_04: 19:05

I like the other one, number four, where it says guarding your relationships. That was huge for me because Kevin used to get so mad at me because I'm just a people person, and I love everybody, and I'm like, everybody's good. And he's to the point, he's like, no, Deb, he has very good discernment. Thank the Lord. And he's like, no, everybody's not on your team. You can't let everybody in your circle. And it took me a long time because I didn't want people to, for one, I'm a people pleaser, or was, So I wanted to make everybody happy, and so I would just let everybody in my circle. But I was always in my soul. My inside was just not at peace, just out of place, out of order. My whole life was chaos. But it wasn't until I really started, all right, Lord, I'm going to set these boundaries, and not everybody can have access to me. And it's okay to say no. It's okay. It is okay. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00: 20:02

You still don't look like you believe that. I'm trying. If

SPEAKER_04: 20:05

I say it, the more I say it, the

SPEAKER_00: 20:07

more you're going to believe it.

SPEAKER_04: 20:08

That's right.

SPEAKER_00: 20:10

It is definitely okay to say no. And that's part of coming out of addiction, I think. I think that where a lot of people fail when they're coming out of addiction, when they're trying to stay clean, is it's so much easier to go back to those people that you know than it is to find new people. And cutting yourself off, especially if you've done drugs as long as we did, right? I mean, I did drugs for 15 years. There only people knew were drug addicts, right? I didn't know any good people except for, like, my mom and my sister. And nobody wants to hang out with your mom and your sister, you know. But cutting them off. relationships you know off was was the first thing oh

SPEAKER_04: 20:58

yeah

SPEAKER_00: 20:58

that i had to do you know and that included cutting off my baby's uh my son's uh dad you know because i got clean and something in drugs when i found was pregnant he didn't and so you know, I had to make a choice. And I told him, you know, if you want to get help and get clean, you're welcome to be a part of Dylan's life. And if you choose not to, then I will never come after you for child support. And I will never, you know, I will never bother you. I will do it all on my own. And I did it on my own. Well, the family and God, I did it all on my own. But That's part of growing these relationships, and that's hard.

SPEAKER_04: 21:40

And I don't really think it was even the people in addiction. Like, I was okay with cutting them off. For me, people, unhealed people that I would come in contact with. It wasn't even addicts or anything like that, but it was just people that wasn't my assignment. That's a better way of saying it. Because I was like, oh, I can help them. You

SPEAKER_03: 22:03

want to fix

SPEAKER_04: 22:03

everything. Yeah, and help people. I mean, it would be church people even. You know what I mean? And sometimes God would send me to them, and sometimes it was like, wait, you don't have to answer every call. That's not your assignment. They're not your assignment. So then I had to pray, because then I would feel guilty. Okay, Lord, we'll send somebody to them. That is their assignment. And then when I started doing that, there was peace. Because... You can't help everybody. You can't. And I remember my dad, he would say this. He says this all the time. We can't help everybody, but we can help somebody. And so you have to discern, okay, Lord, who am I supposed to let? Is this a you thing? Or is it me just wanting to do this because I can make a check on my little box that I've helped somebody today? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00: 22:48

Do you feel like sometimes you do it out of guilt?

SPEAKER_04: 22:50

Yeah. Yeah. I'm

SPEAKER_00: 22:53

learning. Yeah. It took me a long time to... not try to help everybody um my husband when we first got married we used to uh i'm not gonna say we would fight over this but he would be very disappointed in me like i'd be going down the road it'd be raining and there'd be some crazy guy walking down the road in the rain and i'd stop and pick him up you know and he's like you can't do that by yourself that's not safe it was like But he didn't run. Yeah. You know, when I was walking in the rain, I wish people would have stopped and picked me up. You know? And he's like, but you're a female.

SPEAKER_04: 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:32

At 10 o'clock at night by yourself. You know? He's like, it's not safe. And I'm like, well, I just believe God will take care of me. You know? And everybody's like, I'm not scared to go anywhere. Like, I will get in my car and go anywhere I want to go.

UNKNOWN: 23:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:47

And everybody's like, that's not safe. And I'm like, I'm going to protect me. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. You know, I did something the other day and I was like, after all the stuff I put in my body, that's not going to kill me.

SPEAKER_04: 24:00

That's funny.

SPEAKER_00: 24:00

You know, and they're like, what? And I'm like, after all the places I've been, I didn't die. Then it wasn't my time to go. Right? If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. But I don't know.

SPEAKER_04: 24:12

Let me just backtrack real quick. Go ahead.

UNKNOWN: 24:14

I...

SPEAKER_04: 24:15

I don't want people to think that we don't want to help everybody. It's not that. It's just that you have to have discernment and not get burnt out.

SPEAKER_00: 24:23

Well, you have to be able to deal with that, right? Like you can't run on empty and... Because if you're running on empty, if your cup is empty, if you're not fulfilled with your spirit, if you're not fulfilled with the grace of God, then you can't help nobody. No matter how hard you try to help them, you can't. And that was what I had to learn. I would run myself down and not... That's why I do self-care now. But I would run myself down and not mentally... be able to help somebody right like their chaos would overtake my

SPEAKER_02: 25:00

peace

SPEAKER_00: 25:01

when it's their chaos and their chaos should never overtake your peace right when you're supposed to help them and that's when that's where you have to learn to say it's not that's not your assignment

SPEAKER_01: 25:12

like

SPEAKER_00: 25:12

you said right and that was hard for me too because I think every toxic man I ever dated was because I thought I could fix them. I thought I could

SPEAKER_04: 25:21

help them. There's another project.

SPEAKER_00: 25:22

Right? I can help you. He just needs somebody to love him. And really, I just needed somebody to love me. And Jesus was standing there loving me the whole time. And I didn't understand that. And then, you know, making God the priority and not the backup.

SPEAKER_04: 25:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 25:41

Right? And so... And you see that a lot in the world today, right? Like, everybody, nobody wants to talk about God. But boy, when something happens, they want you to pray for them, right? And I was talking to my boss the other day, and I want to share this podcast with everybody, right? But at work, I have to be very cautious because You know, if the wrong person thinks I'm trying to push my religion on them, then they can report me and I can get fired, you know, because religion is to protect the status. And, you know, and you have to be very cautious in how you do things nowadays. And, but God just, I mean, he just won't. He just won't let it go, right? Like we were talking about the zebra sitting on my chest. I feel like the zebra has been sitting on my chest for a while lately because he wants us to talk about it. And when I start talking about it, I can't shut up. I'm so excited about it. I can't shut up.

SPEAKER_04: 26:52

You know, it's funny that this is one of the habits it says to do. Consistent habits of spiritual maintenance is making God the priority, not the backup. I actually had a conversation with one of my daughters today that I've been praying for. She works with me, and she's raised in church by my parents. She knows. And so when I got up this morning, she had posted on Facebook if there's any women's Bible studies. And she don't go to church. And she said, is there any women's Bible studies for single moms? And I was texting, and I was like, you can come do it at your mom's house. You know what I mean? Just letting her know that that's available. And so today, I texted her. I said, are you really interested in going to a Bible study? And she was like, well, yeah. So when she came to my desk, I said, so... And I was telling her about the different Bible studies we could do. I said, so what made you think that, you know, because she's, like I said, she's in church right now. And she said, well... I'm just tired of coming to God when I have problems, and that's not fair to Him. No, it's not. And I was just like, well, thank you, Lord, that you're letting her see that. And just like this, making God the priority, not the backup plan, because she's going through some things, and she was like, I don't think it's fair that I'm just coming to Him when I have problems. Well,

SPEAKER_00: 28:17

and it's easy. was not my first thought when life was in chaos. He was not the first thing that I went to. When I got married, we built this house and I was still working. I was still a work in progress, which I'm still a work in progress today. But when it comes to my faith, I still wasn't there. I was there, but I wasn't there I was there when I wanted to be there, and I wasn't there when I didn't want to be there. But when we built the house, we built it from scotch, and I'd ask the ladies from church to come, and every two-by-four in this house has a Bible verse wrote on it. I knew that we wanted to start our life, and we wanted to be wrapped in God, and we wanted to be wrapped in His arms and in His faith. My husband's like, that's weird. I was like, I don't care. But we did. We came and we wrote Bible verses all over every two by four in this house before they put anything up. And I feel like that has, and I guess because my life was so chaotic before, like I lived in chaos before, that I feel safe here. I feel like I'm wrapped in his cloth now. because we did that right we prayed over it we wrote bible verses uh we did a lot of things because at the end of the day you have to start with the foundation and build yourself up you know um and that's high maintenance to me you know you have to you got to find the foundation and then you build yourself up and then you build yourself to self-care to where it's not high maintenance right it's not about what we own it's a about who owns us,

SPEAKER_04: 30:45

if that makes sense. I feel like if we keep our spirit man in tune, it helps us to stay in peace, to walk in peace, and we don't feel as, I don't know, like we're having to strive or do things. In John 15, it says, And abide means to remain, to dwell, to stay connected. I love that. Stay connected. It's so easy. Stay connected. Because you know when you're unplugged. You know when you're disconnected. Your whole household knows. Everybody

SPEAKER_00: 31:21

knows. Everybody knows. You can

SPEAKER_04: 31:23

look at me and know. They can be like, what's wrong with you today?

SPEAKER_00: 31:26

Yeah, I'll come to work and they'll see them avoid me. They'll turn the opposite way. But that's funny. Staying connected and staying in time right now. Everybody has a problem. Everybody has a device. Everybody has that device in their face. And a few weeks ago, not before we started this podcast, I locked myself out of my phone. And I was so impatient. I ended up locking myself out for seven days. I couldn't receive phone calls, text messages, emails, nothing. All my work stuff was on my phone, like nothing. I couldn't do anything for seven days. That was probably the best seven days I've had in a long time. You know, it was a tad bit stressful because I couldn't receive any emails from work and I wasn't, I couldn't be connected to work for 24 hours. But at the same time, it brought me back to earth, right? Because I, I had gotten to where first thing I did every morning when I got up, I was looking at my emails at work. I was looking at what they showed me, what they accomplished the night before. So I knew what I was walking into the next morning. Before I took my shower, before I did anything, I was spending 10 or 15 minutes looking through that. And before that, which every morning before I hit my feet, before I pray, I thank God. I open my eyes before I ever get out of my bed. I thank God for the day that I'm going to have and I do that. But I used to read the, you know, I have the Bible app and it has a daily devotional or whatever, right? It's like 10 minutes. It's nothing huge, but I used to do that every morning. And then after I got ready, then I checked my emails and I did this and I did all the things. But I had gotten to where I wasn't doing that Bible devotion every morning. And so that seven days without it, when I got it back, it pops up, right? That app pops up and it was like, you know, you haven't done blah, blah, blah. So I've been doing that and I've been feeling more connected, right? Because I've been feeling lost in a moment of waiting. I feel like for so long until we started this podcast that I was feeling

SPEAKER_04: 33:47

dry

SPEAKER_00: 33:48

and lost.

SPEAKER_04: 33:49

You know, my dad, I brag on him all the time, but this man literally, when he gets up in the morning, he spends two or three hours in his quiet time reading his Bible and And, you know, everybody don't have two, three hours. And I'm grateful that he does. And you can tell it in his walk. You can tell, you can tell, like, and I'm like, man, Jesus, I want some of that. But am I willing to, you know, give up some stuff to, you know, spruce up my spirit, man, a little bit. But, you know, and he carries such wisdom.

SPEAKER_03: 34:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 34:26

You know, and so it's knowledge. And we can all have that.

SPEAKER_03: 34:29

We can.

SPEAKER_04: 34:29

We can all have that.

SPEAKER_03: 34:30

It's how much

SPEAKER_04: 34:31

do we want it? How much do we want it? Because God's not just going to push it on us. Yeah. He's a sovereign God. He's a gracious God. And I feel like that, you know, we can just go to Him and be like, all right, Lord, fill me up today. Wow. Tune me up, just like a car gets tuned up. You know, tune up my spirit, man. You know, anything that's dead inside me that needs to be resurrected, let it be.

UNKNOWN: 34:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 34:55

So here it says, real-life examples of high maintenance with God, right? We check in with God like a subscription we forgot to cancel only when we need something, right? And I don't understand that. Like, I have the worst. My husband gets so mad at me. Because sometimes I'll subscribe to things and not even realize. Yeah, me too. And like cost money. Yeah. And not even, and he'll be like, why are you subscribing? I wasn't subscribing to it. I was just trying to figure it out. You know, and then it says to ask this, are we maintaining our relationship with God the way we maintain our nails, our hair, and our homes?

SPEAKER_04: 35:37

Are we keeping ourselves groomed or spirit man groomed?

SPEAKER_00: 35:40

Well, so, and I was thinking about this today because, you know, I read over this last night and I was thinking about this today. And every Wednesday, I know you're coming over. So every Wednesday, I make sure all the dishes are in the dishwasher. I make sure the counters have been locked down. I make sure the tables have been locked down. I don't do that on Tuesday. I don't do that on Monday. You know, I may load the dishwasher Tuesday morning. If I don't load it Monday night. Or I may not load it until Wednesday when I know you're coming.

SPEAKER_04: 36:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 36:14

Right? Is that how we do God

SPEAKER_04: 36:16

too? Sometimes you're right.

SPEAKER_00: 36:18

Is that how we do God too? You know, we don't maintain it. You need something. But when somebody's coming over, then we're going to do it. And I think I thought about that today. That's

SPEAKER_03: 36:33

good.

SPEAKER_00: 36:34

My husband was laughing at me. My husband was laughing at me earlier. He said, you can't load the dishwasher in two days. Honey, I didn't only load the dishwasher. I locked the cabinets down. And you don't even go to my kitchen.

SPEAKER_04: 36:45

Yeah, you don't got to do that for me.

SPEAKER_00: 36:48

Somebody's coming to my

SPEAKER_04: 36:49

house. My house.

SPEAKER_00: 36:50

But

SPEAKER_04: 36:51

that's how we do. That's how we do. I would do the same thing.

SPEAKER_00: 36:54

Yeah. I mean, that's how we do. So if we knew God was coming tonight, we would clean our house. If we didn't know he was coming tonight, would our house be clean? That's

SPEAKER_02: 37:03

good.

SPEAKER_00: 37:04

Right? Would our house be clean? You know, if God was coming to visit tonight, you know, we had the CEO of Walmart show up at one of our stores yesterday afternoon. Just flew in. And usually you have... a two or three day notice to be prepared. And he walked into one of our stores yesterday morning, no clue, you know, and everybody's panicking, right? Because the CEO don't just walk into your Walmart for no reason, you know, and, but were we ready? We should be ready every day.

SPEAKER_02: 37:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 37:37

Right. if God come tomorrow, is your house clean?

SPEAKER_02: 37:40

Yeah,

SPEAKER_00: 37:41

that's good. And that's, you know, I think that has a lot to do with being high maintenance. Is your spiritual maintenance as important as your outer maintenance?

SPEAKER_04: 37:51

It's good stuff. Good stuff. You know, I am grateful for this, and it takes me back. It makes me want to, and I feel like we shouldn't do it out of guilt, be like, oh, I'm not spending enough time with God. Oh, I got to do it one, two, three, or four, five, six. No, do what works. Like I said, it's not about religion. It's about relationship. Right. What does that look like? My relationship with God may not. It definitely doesn't look like Kevin's. Kevin's does totally different for me. But you know what? That works for him. That's between him and God.

SPEAKER_00: 38:21

Right. You

SPEAKER_04: 38:21

know what I mean? And that works for him.

SPEAKER_00: 38:23

Right. And my relationship with God is not like yours. Or it's not like, you know, I wish. No. No, I don't. Because it's not me. Right? I started to say, I wish I could be like your dad and sit and spend three hours in my Bible every day. But that's not who I am. That's not me, right? It's like... My husband gets so frustrated with me. So we were talking about a couple years ago, I needed a new car. And so my husband's like, I need you to sit down and research what kind of car you want, look into this, do that, do this. And so a few weeks later, he comes out and he's like, have you researched it? I'm like, no, I thought you were going to. And he's like, but it's your car. I'm like, yeah, but I was like, okay, whatever. So I looked through some, I was like, oh, I like this. He goes, well, why do you like it? I was like, it's pretty. He's like, no. And at the end of the day, that's our relationship with God. I can't read my Bible every day. I should probably read my Bible. But when I need to read my Bible, then He gives me what I need. It pops up on my app as the devotion of the day. They talk about it on the radio going to work. I listen to the radio an hour and 20 minutes. They talk about it on the radio and then you know, they'll say something and I'll be like, oh, and then I'll have to go into my app when I get to work and read through like whatever they were talking about. That's how I read my Bible every day. That's how, but I do pray every day and I do talk with them every day. And I do ask for, you know, for discernment and I do ask for leadership and for guidance and for, you know, let me, let me bless somebody today. You know, I do do those kinds of things. And back in the day, that would have made me feel guilty as a Christian, right? Because you're supposed to check the boxes. You're supposed to read. I don't go to church every Sunday, right? Right now, in this time, I don't have a group of people that I spend every Sunday with. And it's not for any reason other than I just don't. I just don't care and go, right? I mean, I could easily come to your dad's church. That would be okay. Crosspoint loved me, right? I just, I felt so... I was in this period of waiting for so long. I feel like I just... just didn't feel right with anybody we talked about this the other day like i've been looking for my people i don't know who my people are i don't fit in with drug addicts that are just getting clean and i don't fit in with people that went to church 24 hours a day seven days a week and grew up for 40 years in church i don't fit in with those people either but why is that you know So you have to set a daily time to spend time with God, whether it's in the mornings, at lunch break, walking outside. And it doesn't have to be three hours like your dad. It doesn't have to be an hour and 20 minutes like my mom. If it's 10 minutes here, 5 minutes there, 40 minutes here, he's going to love you with all of us.

SPEAKER_04: 41:34

I think the main thing is just evaluating ourself and saying, What do I need? Yeah, what do I need? And am I spending as much time on the inside as I am the outside? Right. Because I want that. I want my spirit demand to be so strong that when things come my way, temptation comes my way, aggravation comes my way, I don't get thrown off. You know what I mean? Because my spirit man is like, oh, no, we got this. Right. You know what I mean? I'm not going to get my feelings. We're going to work through this. Yeah. Because I've kept it maintained. So if that's you today and you just have been struggling with how to maintain your spirit, man, I just encourage you to get into your word and worship, whatever works for you. That's just between you and God. If you don't read your Bible, I encourage you to read your Bible and ask God to give you a hunger because for a long time it was really hard for me to read. I didn't understand it either. I feel like, you know what? I don't understand what I'm reading. And so I really had to pray. And my dad told me something one day. He was like, put yourself in it. When you put yourself in there, make it personal. And that was a game changer for me. So when I read my Bible, I make it personal. Even the prayers, I put my name in it and I'll read it back out in the Bible. And I'll put my name in there. And it's helped me a lot doing it that way. But I just want to encourage you that it's okay to have self-care, and we want you to do that, and it's a good thing. But we also want to encourage you to maintain your spirit, man. Keep being cleaned up. So let's pray today. Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 43:42

So what does it mean to be spiritually high maintenance? We don't need to strive. We need to abide. Peace is the result of time spent with God. If this blessed you today, share it with the sister who needs the reminder. And if you're ready to trade your striving for spiritual strength, you're walking this journey with you. Truth and grace side by side. Rooted in truth.

SPEAKER_04: 44:09

Covered in grace. Carried by faith.