Your Identity in Christ

In a powerful episode we explore the truth about identity- specifically who we are in Christ. With so many labels pulling at us in today's world , it is easy to forget our God-given identity. But in this heart-to-heart episode, your host walk through Scripture, share personal stories, and drop encouragement you can hold onto. This is a deep dive into what God says about you. Not your past. Not your job. Not even what others think. This episode will remind you of who you are in Christ- Chosen, Known, and LOVED.

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Transcript

UNKNOWN: 0:00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 0:29

As we speak on our identity today, we just pray that your word will empower us to speak it with boldness and confidence. God, that you will remind us who we are in Christ. In Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_01: 0:45

Amen. Hey, y'all, and welcome to the very first episode of Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace Conversation. I'm Shannon.

SPEAKER_00: 0:54

And I'm Deb. And today we're diving into something that's been on our hearts. Your identity in Christ. Not your job. Not your relationship status. Not even what others say about you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08

Because if we're honest, there are a lot of loud voices trying to name us. Shame. Comparison. Rejection. Perfectionism.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17

But the loudest voice should be the truth of who God says we are. So today we're going to remind you and ourselves that your identity is rooted in Christ. So let's start with our theme verse. Ephesians 2.10 says, So sis,

SPEAKER_01: 1:41

let's get real. I know me and you have talked many, many times about labels and the labels that we put on ourselves and the labels that the world puts on us. Can you tell us a little bit about some of the labels that you have found for women?

SPEAKER_00: 1:58

The bad labels? Yeah, let's start with those. Okay, yeah, I wore a lot of labels, a lot of masks. Probably one of the biggest ones that I wore was being the black sheep of my family. Um, I come later to realize that that wasn't who I am. And so I had attached that label on myself many years ago that because her addiction and things that I went through that I wasn't like my family. So I labeled myself the bad sheep and I acted out on those things. And then I, you know, got into drugs and stuff and I labeled myself as an addict and unworthy, and the list went on and on. And as I labeled myself with those things, I began to act out on them. I began to see myself as not worthy or not good enough or, you know, that I would never measure up those things. And then when I come to know Christ, I found out that those things were not true about myself. Well, you

SPEAKER_01: 3:01

know, sometimes... when we speak it enough or we think it enough in our lifetimes that it becomes who we think we are. And it doesn't have to be who we think we are. But as humans, as women, as caregivers, that's just kind of what we do. we set ourselves up because we think we have to be perfect we have to be a perfect mother we have to be a perfect daughter we have to be a perfect boss we have to be perfect in everything that we do and so we set those labels on us and when we make those decisions whether good or bad decisions we're the ones that have to live with it and i don't know if it's all about labels or about the emotional attachment that comes to those labels

SPEAKER_00: 3:46

Yeah, I think it's a little bit of both. I even remember the last time the Lord dealt with me on calling myself a black sheep. We were at church one night and my brother was introducing me to somebody and he was like, this is my sister. And I was like, I'm the black sheep of the family. And so on the way home, the Lord dealt with me. He was like, why do you call yourself that? But that's what I seen myself as because I had gotten so much trouble. My brothers kind of had it together. You know, and so I just felt like I was a black sheep. You know what I mean? And so I had to repent. And I had to ask the Lord, I'm sorry. Because he said, why do you call yourself things that I don't call you? And so I said, Lord, forgive me. So I had to pray. And I said, Lord, I'll come out of agreement with that. But it's hard. It's hard when you... Like you said, you get that embedded in you. And I kept saying it. I would say it all the time. Nonchalant. I'm this. I'm the black sheep. And you believe, and you start believing it. And other people believe

SPEAKER_01: 4:48

it. Oh, yeah. My sister, she got married young. Her and her husband had a house. They had everything they needed. They worked. They weren't scrambling by trying to feed their kids or trying to take care of themselves. I was living with my mom at 27. The media in the world puts this persona on how life should be, but that's not how life is. That's not the real world. The real world, things happen, right? We make choices and we make decisions, and they're not always good. But it says in the Bible that we are the daughter of God, that we are His children, and that He loves us unconditionally. And we have to lean into that. I never understood... what unconditional love was until I had my own kid.

SPEAKER_00: 5:56

And

SPEAKER_01: 5:58

he was, he was probably in the second grade and he loved going to school and he would come home and he would cry. He didn't want to go back to school. And I was like, what is wrong? You know, you have loved school your whole life. And he was being bullied at school. And I'm like, Oh, no, no, no, no. I want to be Mama Bear. I'm going to go down there. I'm going to tell that kid off. I'm going to tell his parents off. I'm going to tell the principals off. I'm going to, you know, I'm just going to. And he's like, no, Mama, please don't. You know, that'll be embarrassing. And I was like, I was mad. And I wasn't getting high, but I wasn't. living for god either right i was still lost in my in my journey and um and i thought well okay but that was one of the turning points for me because if i love my kid like that i know i could not have knowingly had a kid brought him to this earth raised him knowing he was going to die like i Some kid his own age was picking on him. And to know that I was going to raise a kid that was going to die for the whole world, I couldn't do that. I couldn't give my kid that way. And that's when I truly feel like I started to understand an unconditional love, which is where you have to find your identity in Christ. You have to find it in His love for you.

SPEAKER_00: 7:22

I can remember at an early age, probably about 11 or 12, my parents raised us in church. We've Lived at church, I feel like, our whole life, growing up. And all my brothers played music. They sang. And I was like, where do I fit in? You know what I mean? I was like, then at a young age, the enemy started whispering lies into my ear. You know what I mean? It was like, you're different from your family. You don't fit in. Because I've seen them up there just worshiping and playing. They could play music and sing. And there was me. I was like, well, what am I supposed to do? So then when I got a little older... And started getting out in the world. And I got into addiction. And I felt like I didn't fit in. Even though my parents loved me. And they cared for me. And I had a great upbringing. I just didn't know who I was. And so when I got older and got into drugs and stuff, I felt like I fit in on the outside world. I felt like I was accepted. Oh, this is my place. Which is a lot from the enemy. And so then I became an addict. And then I... you know, become a bad mom. And, you know, the list goes on and on. I'm going to jail and prison. And then the next thing you know, you're just wearing all these labels of guilt and shame and you don't know who you are or what you like. And I remember when I got clean, I was like, I don't even know what I like. I don't even know who I am because I wear all these masks. I could be, I could sit at the millionaire's house or I could sit at the trap house. It didn't matter to me. I could, Put that mask on wherever. I learned how to do that. And I learned how to wear those labels well, which is not good. And it took me a long time to really realize who I was in Christ. And it came with coming out of agreement with those labels and those things I had attached myself to and really finding out who I am and that God really loves me. And like you said, when I started tapping into that vein that God loves me, And when I really started loving myself, those things, my identity started changing. It

SPEAKER_01: 9:34

gives you a peace. It gives you a peace. And people say, well, I gave it to God. But if you're still harping on it, you haven't gave it to God. You know, my sister laughs at me. We're total opposites. And she constantly is worrying about things like everything. You know, she has to make lists and she has to have all this. Everything has to be in its way and everything has to have its place and all these different things. And that's not me. That's not me

SPEAKER_00: 10:02

at all.

SPEAKER_01: 10:03

You know, and I don't know if it's because of. what i've been through through the addiction and through you know all the situations that now i can sit down and think about how did i survive that how did how you know how did i get through that but i get mad and i get i worry about something but i worry about it i have a conversation with god and i'm done right like i don't think no more about it when this podcast thing come about you know i like to argue with god um I like to be like, why does anybody want to hear what I got to say? Kind of thing. And I just remember you raising up in the backseat of the car and saying, we should do a podcast. And I'm thinking, she heard him too. I

SPEAKER_00: 10:48

heard him.

SPEAKER_01: 10:49

And I kept thinking, but why? Why would anybody care? And I've decided that... This is our identity, right? Sharing our story.

SPEAKER_00: 11:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 11:02

Showing the grace that we have received is our story. That's my identity in Christ. I find myself giving grace more and more every day. Now, am I perfect at it? No. I'm still human. I still get mad at other drivers. I still think I should be the only one on the road. But The grace that I can see in the world makes me believe that it's not as bad as everybody makes that out to be. It's just been a definite whirlwind. And it didn't happen overnight. It didn't happen overnight. Just because I realized God loved me unconditionally doesn't mean that... All of a sudden, I was this great Christian, and all of a sudden, everything in life started falling together because it didn't. It still took another 10 years probably for life to get to where it is today. I don't know. It's just I'm humbled by His grace. I'm humbled every day by the blessings that I see, and I want everybody to feel that. I want everybody to see that. I know that this podcast is geared towards women because it's two women talking about the things that we go through. But I think even men can definitely listen to some of our podcasts and find their way, too, because God is open for whatever it is. As

SPEAKER_00: 12:26

I was looking at our notes and stuff, I looked at the unqualified. I think that was definitely one of the labels. that I had war. Because I'm not qualified to do this. Even when I got the job I have now, I'm like, I don't have a degree. I'm not qualified for this. But you know what? I said yes. And you know what I mean? That God doesn't call the quality. He equips you. You know what I mean? And He has equipped me to do this. And so when I got out of that I'm not qualified or I'm not worthy. Because when you wear those things, it keeps you beat down. And it keeps you depressed and sad. But I had to just rise up. And sometimes I just have to look at myself in the mirror and be like, Deborah, rise up. I've got this. Yeah, and be who God's called you to be. And I literally have to just look at myself and say that. Because sometimes I can find myself, you know, Going back into that, oh, poor, pitiful me. You know what I mean? And then I'm like, no, no, no, that's not who I am. Right. That's not who I am. And we have those days. Oh, yeah. Every day is not, like you said, every day is not great. And every day is not perfect. But,

SPEAKER_01: 13:36

man. I don't know. To know that, you know, I have a place to lay my head down that's mine. To know that there's a place, you know, that is safe, you know. Because I remember many nights not feeling safe, but I still put my head down there, right? Feeling guilty because I knew what I was doing was wrong. At the end of the day, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew that the choices and the decisions that I made in society looked down on it. And I knew, but I knew I was loved. I did. My mama loved me just as much as your mama loved you and things like that. But I remember it was once I... decided not to be the drug addict, right? Once my kid was born and I decided not to do drugs. I think that's where a lot of my labels came from. They came from guilt and shame. You know, I was raised in church the first 10 years of my life and, you know, hellfire and brimstone. And there was no coming back from the decisions that I had made. But that was definitely a whisper from the devil, right? It was one of those... He knew that God had a plan for me and he knew that God had a plan for you. And so anytime the devil can whisper into my ear, he is definitely going to do it. I come home and I told my husband, I said, well, I found a hobby. I don't know who I am. I still, even now, sometimes don't know who I am. It reminds me of a movie I watched back in the 90s. It was called Runaway Broad. And every guy that she had agreed to marry, at the end of the day, she would run away the day of the wedding. And when she realized she needed to figure out what was going on with her, she sat down and she's like, I don't know how I like my ex. you know, Bob liked it this way, and John liked them that way, and Fred liked them this way, and so on and so forth. And she said, so she went and cooked eggs every different way that you can cook an egg. And at the end of it, she realized she didn't even like eggs, right? And I think about that movie, and that's the only part of the movie I remember, so don't ask me what the name of it is, because I really don't know. But I think about that movie in a lot of things with life, right? Like, I don't know. My husband's been telling me for five years now, you need a hobby. I'm like, I don't have a hobby. There's nothing I want to do, right? But was it three years ago we went to a women's conference? And I was like, we need to start going around and talking and, you know, doing these women's conferences and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, we come back and I've gotten away. Right. Your father-in-law got sick. My papa got sick. You know, life just got in the way. And I think that was the start of it. I think your mama knew. Oh, yeah. Being known,

SPEAKER_00: 17:00

being loved, being redeemed. I like in 1 Peter 2 and on it says, But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession. You think back in the day, God's special possession? He can't even use me. God, do you know? What I've done, you know, you'd be arguing with God. Of course God knows what we've done. You know what I mean? But when we get to that point where I don't care. I don't care who knows my story. I don't care who knows that I was strung out on the needle or, you know, that I've been to prison. I don't care about none of that. God still chose me. He still loved me. And when you get to that realization that no matter where you're at in life, that God can't love you any more than he does right now. Yep. And you're good or you're bad. Yep. He loves you just the same.

SPEAKER_01: 17:49

He loves you where you are. Yeah. You know, I like the one where it says Romans 8, 38 through 39. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. And that one was a hard one for me because I think in younger years, I thought you had to earn something. Because I remember trying to earn my daddy's love. And my daddy loved me. But I always felt like I had to do extra or I had to be special. And that was my earthly father. So when I tried to find my heavenly father, it took a while to realize that he just loves me. All he wants is for me to Be that child that tells him she loves him, asks him when she needs help, and thanks him for everything that he does, right? Like, he doesn't expect any more from us. And that should be amazing to people.

SPEAKER_00: 18:44

I remember one time my brother telling me, he said, Deb, just be yourself. Just be yourself. And that was so freeing to me, even though it was so simple, like... Just be yourself because I was trying to be this and be that after I got saved. You know what I mean? I was trying to walk in His calling. And my other brother's calling. My mom's calling. And I couldn't because God had a calling for me that only I could walk. I can't walk in their calling. I'm not anointed to walk in their calling. But I'm anointed to walk in my calling. And so when I finally got a hold of that, just be yourself. Because we put these expectations on us. Like you were saying, we get in performance mode where we try to perform. We try to do all this good stuff. And then I come to the realization that just because it's a good thing, doesn't mean it's a God thing. Right. So you have to pray about it. God, is this from you, or am I just trying to do a lot of stuff to get the check

SPEAKER_01: 19:38

marks? Right. Am I following the checklist, right? I got promoted three years ago, and with that promotion came a nice... bonus structure with my new job. I've always had a heart to help people. That's just my thing. I love it. I get the most joy when I help other people. I decided I was going to start a non-profit. I have all this extra money that I feel like God gave to me because I feel like He gave me the promotion. We're going to start a non-profit. But there wasn't a we in there. God was not in it, right? He was like, slow down, slow down. Hold on a minute. Wait a second. But no, every phone call I made, every door I tried to open got slammed in my face. And I just kept thinking, and of course, I don't give up easily, right? So I didn't give up the first time or the second or the 10th time that somebody slammed the door in my face. And finally, I was like, okay, what do you want? And I said it just like that teenager too. What do you want? I'm irritated and I'm frustrated. And he's like, it's okay. It's okay. I want you to wait. And I'm like, because I am not a patient person. And he's like, just wait. I have plans for you. And I'm like, oh. So then I get in my feelings. Even though I feel like I have a strong faith with God, I still get in my feelings. So in Galatians 3.13, it says redeemed. Christ redeems us from the curse of the law. So whether it's addiction or getting frustrated with God or being impatient or being the black sheep of the family, any of those, He will redeem you from it. He will give you that redemption once you quit throwing your hissy fits.

SPEAKER_00: 21:51

You know, the Bible tells us that we're bound by our words. So as we continue to... tell ourselves we're stupid or we don't belong or you know when you start believing those things we know you the enemy is going to use that

SPEAKER_01: 22:07

oh yeah

SPEAKER_00: 22:07

you know what i mean so that's why it's so important to not speak i had to repent because i should be saying stuff all the time my lord forgive me for saying that that's not true or just a thought yeah that's not who i am

SPEAKER_01: 22:19

yeah just a thought right sometimes i'm just like and then i'm like i'm sorry i'm

SPEAKER_00: 22:24

sorry sorry jesus yeah But he's so good, and he's so gracious, and he knows that we're going to mess up. He knows we're going to fail, but he loves us anyway. He picks us up right where we're at.

SPEAKER_01: 22:37

He does. He does. And you feel like you're not worthy, and you feel like you have to have all these different identities. in the world but really all you need is jesus and that is the one thing that i hope everyone takes away from this is that your identity in jesus or worth becomes unshakable when you dig into him and when you find him at the center of every decision you make every choice that you make every thought that you have every word that you speak if you think of his love first everything else just kind of flows. It just kind of goes with it. You know, I feel like today, you know, you may not feel like you measure up and I want you to, when you have those feelings, I want you to remember Isaiah 43, one, do not fear for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name. You are mine.

SPEAKER_00: 23:42

Amen. You know, sometimes when I hear a voice in my head, I have to think, is this the truth or is it a lie? And how I can tell that, if it's anything that is shameful, I know that it's not of God. So I have to not speak those things. I have to stop. You know what I mean? I have to pray. Or silence the voice of the enemy in my life. Because the enemy is going to come whisper those things in my weakest moments. You know what I mean? And so that's why it's so important. To get sticky notes. If ever you need to get it inside of you, write it on your wall, your mirrors. I'm beautiful. You know, I had a conversation with somebody the other day. You know, I take selfies and I'm like the selfie queen and stuff. And I tell my husband all the time, you have a beautiful wife. You know, just aggravating him. But it's true. And somebody was like, well, I could never talk about myself like that. And I'm like, why not? Why not? Why not? I mean, even if you don't think that about yourself, start saying it. Because that's where it starts. If you don't think you're beautiful, you don't think you're good enough, start saying it. And, you know, just write it down. Even if you have to write it a hundred times to get that in, just start saying it over yourself every day. Make your list. Get in your Bible and write down. You can Google it. Who does God say I am? What does God say about me? Sometimes I like to get in my quiet time and hear me some worship music on. and get my journal out. All right, Lord, what do you say about me today? And just let them speak to me and write it all down. And then sometimes I have to go back to that on my hard days and be like, you know what? This is what the Lord says about me. I remember what you said about me, God. You know what I mean? And so if you write it down, get it in your heart. You know, it... They

SPEAKER_01: 25:37

say what we speak is truth, right? Your tongue is the strongest muscle of your body. And I'm a true believer in sticky notes, right? Or you can buy that car paint that you write on your windows with or whatever because it washes off of your mirrors. And just put notes on there and speak it to yourself every morning. When you wake up, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is I tell God, thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 26:02

Before

SPEAKER_01: 26:04

my feet hit the floor, I just say, thank you, God. I don't say thank you for what. I don't say thank you in this long list of things. All I say is when I open my eyes, thank you. And I feel like that is a staple in my life. So let's get practical. Living from your identity and cross means what to you?

SPEAKER_00: 26:32

Living from my identity in Christ means that I can speak with boldness and confidence about myself and I can set healthy boundaries. That's probably what was one of the hardest things for me is setting healthy boundaries because I'm a people pleaser. And so like, I don't like people mad at me or so I just like would walk on eggshells. You know what I mean? And that's not healthy. You shouldn't walk around like that. So today I set healthy boundaries. It's okay to say no. 100%. I can say no or I can say yes. You know what I mean? It's my feelings, and my feelings are valid. And I pray bold prayers today about who God says I am.

SPEAKER_01: 27:19

You walk with confidence, not arrogance, grace, and not guilt. And when you fall, you don't hide. You run to Jesus. Lord Jesus, we want to thank you today for giving us this opportunity to speak life into women and to speak your identity to others. Lord Jesus, we hope that if one person hears this and they start finding their identity in you, then we have accomplished the one thing that we were supposed to do. Every woman listening who feels forgotten, replace the lies with truth. Plant your identity deep in your word. May you walk boldly and not in who she tries to be, but who God says she already is. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 28:11

Amen. I don't want to add on to that. Where we come out of agreement with every lie of the enemy, with every false accusation, with every false label, That we've come into agreement with. We've come out of agreement with it. And Lord, today we come into agreement with who you say we are. That we are loved and that we are chosen and that we are somebody. And that you have a plan for our life and it's a good plan. And I just pray that every person listening to this episode would know who they are in Christ today. Or that they would want to hunger for you to know who they are. Amen. Okay, sis.

SPEAKER_01: 28:53

So if this episode reminds you of the truth of who you are, send it to your sister, your mama, or your best friend. Make sure to follow us at Unrelated Sisters and leave a review so more women can hear this message of truth and grace.

SPEAKER_00: 29:09

We love y'all.